HUGS ¢5

2007-12-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

lets talk about jealousy

she has the hair, I have the metabolism rate
before her birth, she was though to be a guy and I a girl during scans.
born prematured, I was pale and have weird eyesight which keeps on improving cept the myopic rate.
they are confident while I suffer from low self-esteem.
they rock at math while I suck at it throughout.
my language skills rock though cept my father tongue.
science, humans.. there's no point in looking back.

same blood, same origins but we don't look all that simillar
every family needs a blacksheep. haha

2007-11-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

you know me, years we've been together.
we lasted through the years. I want to thank you peeps for everything and so much more. You've all transcended friendship. I've learnt so much from all of you. Can't thank you enough. Though some of us didn't had the chance to work in projects together, i'm thankful that you all assist and reassures me. Thanks for setting me in my place and changing me for the better over time =) thanks for the meetups, movies, bbqs, picnics and everything.

this won't be the first or last time i'm giving a treat. nothing grand, just pizza hut. hope to see all those invited there. I wish to not only express my feelings through words, actions are important to. Thanks for agreeing to attend at such short notice. Nxt wk sunday =)

PS: Glad to see that i've touched some lives and made majority better whilst some worse. For those that I ruined or left a hurtful signa upon. Sorry is not enough. Forgiveness is nothing. I'm no saint, hate me or curse at me. You've the right for all of that and much more.

pss: when I leave sg or fadeaway, i'd know that i've achieved some of my goals in life. thank you for being part of it. past, present, future. cya there

2007-11-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

He likes to act like he's all grown up
He wanted to grow up to be an actor But he never told anybody
He likes to spill all of his guts
On the top of a well stocked bar
And then swallow them bit by bit remembering every scar As a valid reason for every drink
And a new tattoo is a new reason to think
He likes to pretend that he is all sewn up
It makes for a much stronger case But there is blood underneath that skin
That scar is not so easy to erase
He walks with a glass cane now
He's careful when holding his body up straight
Can't go outside when it's raining
Can't smash up that beautiful face
Another innocent girl just made his list
That self pity shit is just too hard to resist
And when we get home you'll see that this part of him is now part of me
And its way too easy to fake this smile lead you on
Maybe I'm wrong but everyone gets bored once in awhile

Song: Another Innocent Girl
Artiste: Alkaline Trio

PS: I don't see how you could affect me. Can't be bothered with what anyone thinks. The latest song i'm putting on replay. I never liked the "wild" stint. You may think i've grown weak and soft but what you think means nothing to me n_n. Can't even be bothered to head out for the sun and my hair's like shit..

so assuming, so piercing
so damn irritating

I hate your eyes

full of hate
but i've never ever been talking to you for once so back off with your bloody stare.
I don't stare back cos I can't be bothered with your kind..
Some stupid girl.

Some people have AP. AP= attitude problem. Like I never once spoke to you. Yeah.

2007-11-10T15:02:00.000+08:00

Today I pray, I seek the sky.
trampled upon for hate's wrath
I rose, I fought for what it's worth
Today I seek the sky again
If I pass on prior to my destination
May it rain blood upon this land
fill the rivers and streams with what drains from me
I can't be here forever.
I live once and when I fade
let the skeptics remember the date.
The date I fell for what I believed in 100%
bonded with my final breath

2007-11-01T11:43:00.000+08:00

heya. skipped school today.. feeling so worn out. I can't seem to wait for tomorrow. It's been quite some time and all.

to that weird girl:

I personally think you're a great friend to have around. Regarding yesterday and the remark that I have broad shoulders and everything. Truth is, I don't. Haven't been exercising or anything. It's just that you've took more time off to notice me yesterday or something.

ahh.. friends.

maybe it's time to meet up or go our own ways. having dinner with idz tomorrow while the others are having exams and stuff. Hafizah.. we will party after your A levels. It's a promise. I haven't tried sheesha or anything.. but I won't pass on the offer. 2 years since we last met, yeah?. since the bbq or something.

I'm sorry I kinda fadedaway and all. I didn't mean to miss all the meetups on purpose. I really miss you peeps. Perhaps someday, we'll get to catch the movies again. Hang around once more. I'm really caught up in life now but I know its not a valid excuse. Sorry.

To the people who look down on me or disappear.

Is it because of my attire, my appearance? I'm not bothered by your thoughts/opinions about me. You can continue undermining me, my abilities. You can never get me down.

I've come way too far.. struggled for way too long, worked too hard, I bled too much.. I won't ever tear again and the scars remain, the same - Fai 1 Nov 07

Don't see right through me, I won't be your shadow. Don't expect me to be there for you.. when you're already gone.

Dear uncle... heard that you're in the hospital for kidney problems.. just afew mins ago.. you can't go yet k.. your family needs you...

-Fai

2007-10-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

competition breeds assholes.

2007-10-04T14:20:00.000+08:00

confusion and frustration in modern times

I don't get it why people seem to bother about my matters when I don't.

what was unexpected? my success.. dumbasses

PS: carry on bothering about me, its futile. carry on looking down on me. You just don't know. You hate my fantastic memory, move along.

if you are afraid of honesty or you just want to get into my pants please just continue on your merry way.

2007-09-30T14:12:00.000+08:00

hey blog.

drafted as an event coordinator yesterday. Yeah. That pink elephant's b-day.
you know Sharity?. He's 7 this year.

I can't believe my future will be more or less this way. Event Management, coordination, tourism and stuff. I'm not saying I hate the money or anything. You know money means nought to me.

The hours are tough, the work is tedious. I almost fainted yesterday. What a loser right?. You know, I used to be in the corps. Parades and stuff never once fazed me, I never really had to fall out. Yesterday was an exception.

Have you tried standing under the hot sun from 9:30-7? Felt so giddy yesterday. Its hard to keep a smile on for the kids and try to focus on the job at hand.

I was incharge of like a games stall. Needed to bend down every 3seconds or so. I'm serious. Wtv man. The kids looked happy, I did my part. Thats all.

I get along well with my colleagues more than majority of the people I see everyday. It's not about the money or anything. Some of them are older than me. Mostly are about my age. They refer to me as the friendly one. Volunteering and everything.

First time working with des. Kinda fun. Prolly the first and last time i'd be meeting those peeps yesterday. You guys were great!!

PS: at least I didn't had to go on stage and dance in an elephant's outfit =p

2007-09-22T22:23:00.000+08:00

I enjoy hanging with my friends. Today's latest addition was a malay friend whom i've known since kindergarden. It was fun. Playing pool, slacking around talking junk.

if we continue hanging around Lucky Plaza, it'll be our newest hangout. We've been hanging there for the last 3wks and stuff. Broke the fast at BK today.

heading to geylang with my friends the next week(weekdays). It's the festive season. Would be spending the coming saturday at vivo. Either that or monopoly and boardgames or cards to make time fly. Orchard is totally boring. 6th is taken too. It would be the day with the malay girls and guys.

yeah, i'm gonna wear baju raye this year. My friends are supportive. They tell me.. don't care what the others say. Being semangat for Hari Raye is a good thing. You fast, you deserve to celebrate, some people don't.

spent 37 mins waiting for 62 today, during the wait, A bunch of random people sat near me at the bus-stop. here's something that made me feel soooooo stupid. A random girl who sat next to me for almost 20mins went... wo bu zhi dao ta shi nan de( i didn't know he was a guy)... to her friends.

in my heart, i'm like omg... can't you see that i'm fringeless, short hair...clad in T-shirt and Jeans.. how can I be a girl. Btw.. i know i'm sunburnt... but i'm partly chinese..I know what you all are saying.

left me stunned and feeling so weird

cya peeps soon!!

PS: random strangers, i'm a guy... with short hair...shorter than my usual.. fringeless and everything and without makeup and stuff.... i'm a guy... I hate it when people..think i'm a girl... 2nd time this month...

2007-09-20T18:17:00.000+08:00

sunburnt..

2wks of not moving under the gaze of the sun left me slightly paler. 2hrs of soccer left me burnt and dark and biting my tongue. A dope of a stranger kicked my ankle hard while I was doing a volley...

dehydrated.. feeling so thirsty... my skin's burning.. yeah. The negative criticism came today. It's okay. I know i'm more than a freaking haircut. I don't need to prove anything.

Looking forward to meeting my old school buddies on tomorrow. 1 currently is serving NS.. we are still studying. 3mths+ of not meeting up. how's NS..confirm..the first thing... the others will be asking. I know them quite well. the questions directed to me would be. so how's life? now holidays or schooling? never play soccer already?

Saturday..would be lepak with my malay friends day... + 1 chinese and 1 filipino. Pool again? Next thursday would be break fast with my old school malay friends day..guys and girls.

the days I spend under the sun.. majority of them with the old school friends of mine. this holiday seems to be dedicated to them. pool, guitar, window shopping and stuff.

btw. all the best to my friends in the JCs.. prelims are here. good luck with all your endeavours.
those in poly.. what done is done. No matter your g.p.a... just try harder if its insufficient.
ITE?.. boring right life there? work hard too. we'll meet again.

NOTE: I don't much enjoy talking about my past. I'm not much of a saint. I can only try to do better today than I did yesterday

2007-09-18T12:56:00.000+08:00

this post will be about a friend(deceased) whom i've always wanted to get in touch with but never created opportunities to. Someone who seems so simillar to me and yet different.

R.I.P. Thelvyn.You will be missed. Joseph E. Jackson, aka Thelvyn.
He passed away on August 19, 2007

He was always opinionated, able to speak his mind. Always wanting only the best for his friends. He didn't let the thoughts of others bother him. Though I didn't get to ever speak to him, I found him sincere and unique in a sense that his words are touching and ineffable. Someone who captivated me the first time I read his profile on this certain website.

His remarriage and everything. He was only 25 when he passed away.

PS: Treasure those around you, if you want to get to know somebody, just go ahead and do it. I never attempted to contact him. I'm sure he would make a good friend, being honest and true and everything. I just had this urge to find his profile yesterday..after not viewing it for 3wks or so only to find that he passed away..

you will always be remembered

2007-09-13T23:35:00.000+08:00

mouths moving uninvited
yet, all I hear is white nose.

they seem annoying
yet, they appeal to me after a while

am I famous for all the wrong reasons
if so, this infamy's killing me ever so slowly.

I want to go un-noticed
wary to the eyes of noone.

curiousity, it gets to me
how someone knows my ethicity.

random people
don't pass judgement on someone or something you don't understand.

let me lie in the shades
don't try to ruffle my feathers

white noise
all that I hear
fingers bleeding, i'm still playing
sounds so much better than yesterday

ps: heh. I hate extras!! I don't care who you are. If you've nothing nice to say. Please back away. I don't take random comments from "randoms".

the last december, my exact words were 'i'll forever be your listener'.
(someday...i'll continue this...halfway no feel..fingers bleeding..they're so ugly now)
AND I love hanging around with only my guitar!!

2007-08-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

a day of adventures and misadventures..

One day, little zombie decided to head back to the crypt. It was a special occasion. He gathered some of his friends and returned to the place where he learnt about life/death. Upon reaching the big gates, he spotted his friends. A couple of vampiress-es, banshees and the likes.

They couldn't recognise him anymore on first sight. They said ' WOW!! you've changed soooo much since the last time that we saw you' and SORRY for not being able to recognise you.

Little zombie gave them a *smile* and mocked them. His friends look so different now. So, little zombie made it to the crypt. At the destination, he saw many familliar faces. *mixed-feelings*.

Beloved is the ones who chided him for his unkempt hair in the past. They still remembered him. Little zombie used to HATE the crypt and its undead family. Frankly speaking, he felt a sense of longing and detest for that place.

Soon, his friends needed to go. The females asked him whether he was free to hang around. Unfortunately, he was'nt.

During this scene and the next, he somehow got caught between the gates and freedom. The misadventure resulted in him having a slit wrist, a decomposed arm and a scrapped knee. He felt nothing.

He decided to lick his wounds. Even though it wasn't hurting, it felt weird to have blood dripping down from his wrists (due to the fences) and knee. He complained... about the sensation. It was refreshing..

ps: erm. perhaps we could hang around soon. *groans* I didn't even feel anything when the metal cut into my flesh. hmm. maybe i've changed alot. So have you guys/girls. =p

2007-08-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

the days fly by, yeah.

Thanks for caring and everything. You could always try asking me out. The last pic we took together was one I still remember. High school, yeah. Was at my desk trying so hard to smile.

Since you miss me so much =x *thickskin*
We can like take afew more pics together this time round.

perhaps someday, we'll get to catch a movie again. Last one was that thai ghost film, yeah? Sorry I had to ask Leon to accompany.

btw, i'm not talented or anything. I have NO prior experience with any musical instruments and stuff. Really don't.

my nails grow real fast, my hair grows like grass =p
-Dart-
we'll meet again.

Stirb Nicht Vor Mir

none of you will get the chance to hear me play and stuff. Don't bother. =)

2007-08-15T17:14:00.000+08:00

this world is getting the BIGGEST crap ever

as I was watching the sky
a drop of tear trickled down my face
it was random

wasn't thinking much about anything
I fought the urge to run.

it isn't any fun watching people age
they fall sick and ultimately fade-away

a phone call brought me to my senses
a friend called, didn't have much to say
I hung up

PS: while I was watching the sky, what went through my mind? Was I looking for any answers, any signs.....anything? In the end, we are all left on our own, lost.

2007-08-09T01:06:00.000+08:00

her lips are like scarlet
and then she's lonely

a temper behind
you're there

how much more pleasing
is your arms than mine

how beautiful you are, my darling

love with you, delight

your statue is lying there at the park
and I delight to sit in the shade
and its fruit is sweet to my taste

like i'm lonely and i'm torn
don't leave me please

which way did your love go
and I don't know

your eyes
come my darling
my beautiful one
come with me.

I slept
but my heart was awake.

I waited for him and hoping for my lover

but he left
and he was gone

I looked for him
but did not find him
I called for him
but he did not answer

when you find him
tell him
i'm faint with love.

like i'm lonely and i'm torn
don't leave me please

which way did your love go
and I don't know

your eyes
come my darling
my beautiful one

come with me..

2007-08-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

AFTERNOON

Feeling pissed, you don't fucking know shit.
How it is to be sick for days on end and trying hard to stay and be in school..
Instead I got a tongue-lashing... stop think you're supreme.

too sick and pissed to head down to the esplanade today.
ended up heading to my 'roots'.
you remembered me even after 4 years.
you remembered what cca I was in and stuff..
I miss high school and stuff.
The sound of laughter, the constant mugging and such.
Gone are the golden days.

bleeding shoes
-Dart-

some people are meant to only get a view of my back
they never come around to try and seek a conversation
instead they stare at me from behind.
we used to engage in simple conversation

to think my friend wanted me to wave goodbye
there won't be a begining thus there would'nt be an end.

Sometimes forever means never

2007-08-02T16:10:00.000+08:00

what a disgrace. Can't believe I needed help walking today. This stupid giddy thingy is screwing me up. Thanks anyway. Have I softened too readily? Must have made my resilent body weak and bound to stupid illnesses..

So I look like a zombie?

Regarding my heart, it's on my shoes.
The small black thing lined with blue..

my shoe does have heart logos. :p

nothing to say right? hmm. tomorrow... go school present 1 hour...then see doctor or something.
does being sick make me emo?.. stupid people.
Of course I sound and look weak..cos I am currently sick..

kudos to my friends for their jokes and entertainment value.
love you.. to think you people smiled when I said that I could die anytime..since i'm half-dead and zombie-like anyway.

PS: 2mrrw....die also must go school...help present...don't pangseh team-mate.... gogogo!!!

2007-08-01T02:45:00.000+08:00

broken mentally. Fuck yesterday. I can't sleep now. Don't pressure me using my grades. I know where I stand. Like any shit you say makes any difference. I'm feeling hot and cranky and about to blow. Fuck the pc, shit caused me to fail my exams without even knowing the grades yet. I said I know what went wrong and where I stand. Fuck off.

tomorrow's a friend's b-day...enemy perhaps. All the best from me..i guess. No matter whatever shit happened.

I've said i'm sick. I am. I can't over-exert myself the next wk or 2. Thats all..

fuck school and life and everything. Noone's here. I fight my own battles.

don't say that what you do is for me
for i'm INDEPENDENT

3am?...many times in a row..i just can't sleep

2007-07-29T11:14:00.000+08:00

The body screams in response to everything. I'd wish to be able to stay awhile and rest. It isn't my time. I'm sorry I can't empathise with anybody. I know this makes me sound mean, at least i'm know i'm speaking from my heart. It hurts when I feel like i'm the only person struggling so hard to survive. I know everyone have their own troubles. That alone grants me silent, i'm sorry I seem distant.

every move I make seems so wrong.
while everyone else sleep, I lie awake.
my body screams, every step I take.
breathing seems hard
how can I stay

-FY
when will it be my turn to sleep.

2007-07-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

she's a goddess
she's aloof
she screams for attention
she's so cute...

PS: OMG!! I finally managed to spot someone who's like 1000% more nonchalent than me. she looks above average. Not certain whether she's malay or chinese. For some unknown reason, I kinda dislike her. She seems so fake. The way she pretends to not care about her surroundings, the way she walks and the way she had her tie on. HER smug look.... I DETEST IT... it's so rare..that someone can piss me off..without even talking to me...within the 3-5secs I glanced at them.

2007-07-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

my sorry's

sorry for speaking my mind
sorry not doing what i'm told
sorry for not hiding my thoughts and feelings
sorry for I can't hate you
sorry if i'm just me.

PS: I have my own life.

2007-07-11T22:23:00.000+08:00

3 years

how are you?
how've you been?

nice meeting you, see you when we do meet again
you either partially forgot me for a second there or something, it's okay.

all the best
-Dart-

2007-07-01T12:09:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a blast. The meeting was brief but we still had so much to say, so much to share and like lots of time to spare. I'm a polar bear? Hibernation looms everyday. I'm at 1/5 of my peak. My face is a mess now. 1more mth should be able to help. An all-time low for my pool and soccer I guess. I'm at an all-time high for bball I guess. I can play better if i really focused..but nah.

this is hurting me more than it hurts you, but I have my priorities. I know what I want. I've been planning for the past 1and a half yrs now. I'm unbroken. No single anyone or anything will make me fall.

Polar Bear?

2007-06-21T23:37:00.000+08:00

i innocently boarded the bus thinking that it will be a peaceful smooth ride back home
but oh boy!! how wrong i wos!! I sat on a seat, the seat nearest to the exit door.
So the bus continued its journey and after a few stops like oh my goodness a BAPOKS boarded the bus. seriously i hv no enmity towards any BAPOKS or pple of that kind. WOT I SAW I TOTALLY TRAUMATISING.
the bapok wos wearing a very flimsy tshirt and his/her nipples were protruding.
OH MY GOODNESS!! !!
i wanted to vomit blood and i cant help but to stare at the bapok's face
yeh yeh and i got to add that i think he/she had BO and his/her hair wos tied up messily AND OMG i wos traumatised like crazy
and beocz i wos staring at him/her, he/she wos like giving me this death stare i swear that i could just die at the moment. oh man!!

frm faisal/s fren or sumthing

2007-06-18T12:48:00.000+08:00

Finished reading 'Magician' by raymond e.feist
and
The Perfect ghost Story?
Winners of The Guardian/Piccadilly
teenage short story competition

they're really good. I know I don't look like the kind who reads. *smiles* . Not that it bothers me anyway. Feeling discomfort lately, its okay.Guess i'll be spending the next 3wks...lazing around.

2007-06-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

*heartattack*
*collaspes*

I can't believe it, it's totally unreal.
It seriously was unexpected, coincidence?
UNLUCKY!!!

I'm sorry... I seriously can't hate anyone of you, I'd rather much love all of you. Is it a weakness? like wtv man.

ahh forget it *smiles* the end of next week will mark the start of my holidays.
makes me feel better already.

-/\-
yeah man. holidays rule. =) like forever.
exams rule too.
and err... project work sucks a hell lots. =x

remind me to post a pic of myself soon...like 2-3more mths. that is. HAHA!!
2 years and she remembers me. WEIRD!!.. i'm too easily recognisable.
Nice meeting you. *smiles*

2007-05-27T09:07:00.000+08:00

yesterday night was a blast.

Met up with my old buddies. Hui kai and Jin hui. Glad to see that they've not changed much either. Wanted to eat at chomp chomp but it was packed. So we went to RK house. Seriously, i'm not trying to defame it or anything but... the mee goreng totally suck. The Worst I've eaten. It was not spicy, semi-cooked and that they were stingy with their ingredients. No tomatoes or potatoes. just a few measly slices of cucumbers. Enough about the food.

Sooo, we went to like this park to do pullups... I'm the weakest 1 now. Sat there, reminicising about the past. Our high school life. The legends we created and were. The pet names we had for almost everyone. Our old jokes, still seemed funny. I've been talking alot to the old peeps.

about 80+ % of the people hoped that we could belong to the same class again, do the same old shit again. The golden days are gone forever, we never could've turn back time. All we can do is talk about the past. Time, it waits for noone.

yeah, i memorised my act in like an hour. Bite me.

2007-05-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

thank the kind-hearted girl who took this for us

18 more days <(33)

I had everything in you

i owe you 10 pratas or something, maybe

2007-05-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

today spells boredom with a hint of invulnerability and invincibility.

saw ur mum today, was nonchalent and i pretended not to notice.
headed to bball. I was playing like a pro. Shooting hoops like it was no-ones business, lost 3sets only. I got like 80% of my shots through the hoop.

here's what happened, during a certain match. some older guy, did a layup...and then further launched himself by launching himself off my stomache. It happened so quickly, I felt no pain. maybe i'm immune to it by now.

I did a 'miracle' shot, u know shooting from outside the court and it entered...

makes me feel invincible. so i thought.. so what if i'm invincible? I feel unfallable today, but a minor glitch was all it took to ruin my day.

Take this pain away. btw. I saw sylvia today.. its been awhile.
I feel so different, so undescribable. so distant.. so what?

i'm nonchalent about today, though i seem happy. Maybe a little stressed. I feel empty. Nothing.

So what If i'm invincible?
-fai

2007-04-24T17:42:00.000+08:00

ahhh..

and as the waves crash down on me
I begin the descend onto my knees
legs tucked in from way beneathe
the water fills my lungs, I just can't breathe.

now, we're listening to the same song
this one moment
makes me feel miles apart, apart from anything.

caring words, words of concern
sprout out from your lips, like you mean it.

the bridges errected in this lifetime
etched with memories
is just another lifeline

I lay splayed against the sand
seems to me, i'm in another land.

And as I stand, help from my friends
I spread my wings and begin my flight

from way above
I shout towards the land, 100 thank yous for you my friends
but flying is not flying if i can't do it on my own
why o~ why, I hope you'll understand.

someday, we'll meet again.
our feets sticking out of the sand
and I'll grab your hands and we'll run and run till we reach our destination

perhaps..
we can fly, if we only just dream

ps: dear buddies, thanks for the concern and the promise. someday, I hope, soon enough. We'll meet up again. Time for now, it is scarce. For now i'm doing fine. The time spent talking in my mind. Thank you for caring. Good Luck for your exams, love life and stuff like that. And If you ask, I might admit..that I really do care for all my friends.

Till then
All The Best :)

2007-04-19T19:01:00.000+08:00

listen, I'd gladly welcome you with open arms.
you opt-ed to head for the other side
if I don't exist, it really doesn't matter
cos
you've lost a part of yourself too
what's there to wash away
tame the flames burning the bridges, its too late

there are people I really care about in this world tho~
you're not 1 of em now

who you turn to, wherever you wanna go.
i'm nonchalent about matters, you're were a friend.
Nothing less.

having said my piece, my job's done
at the finishing line. hopefully, things will work out ok.
I hope there's no regret, you turned your back against me.

PS: i just wanna say ty to like the fat guy and the funny girl who entertain me during IT lessons.
=)

2007-04-18T20:04:00.000+08:00

the header's misleading, I know.

so many things flood my mind today.

dreams like yesteryear, gone away
distasteful failure

years,months and days
leaves fall off the branches
I hang on to life

and as you look away
I climbed the highest summit
slid down halfway.

ps: I know noone can read my mind, what im thinking. hows life, how do you do?
and I..I remember being young, such better days.

2007-04-14T00:39:00.000+08:00

im 18 now, kinda sad lately. but here's what happened anyway.

met leon, headed over to amk. Meet Arron.
walked around,arcade.
waited for awhile,Sean came.
the others came afew hours later.

in total, we played pool for over 5hrs.
they got me a cake =)
the radio played all my fav. songs today, i was so...surprised
and they thought i made music dedications to myself.

headed to ramen ten for dinner at 10+

wanted to play bball but it was already late,headed to find kang.
slacked awhile, went home. I hope we don't ever lose contacts.

and.. thanks for all the well-wishes and sms-s, and friendster messages and everything. from people im close with and like strangers..ty

its was a waste though, i called off many ppl who wanted to celebrate with me. thought that my less-ys were coming..but yeah..nevermind

next up: arron's bday MAY 23

here are the pics: 1 outta 3

heres how we look after 5hours+ of pool =) and walking and leon's fake 'beaten up' prank to ambush me. with a cake. and song

L-R: Leon, Sean, Arron, Me, Kevin, Hongsheng

2007-04-11T22:10:00.000+08:00

anyone knows that i enjoy watching documentaries? especially about animals.
I'm not into cars or bikes or anything.

watching Planet Earth...NICE

there are many things to learn from these kinda shows.
here's the latest joke i heard.

when an aeroplane crashes into the water. where does it come out?
....
ans: it comes out in the newspaper.

logical huh.a play of words.english, ilu.its funny too.

don't stress yourself out.don't be like me =)
gotta go cook something.cya around

2007-04-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

i know it is blurry

angelo,agnes,weikeat,jia jie,hui kai,jin hui and me

2007-04-02T10:53:00.000+08:00

how long will I last
this game, its like russian roulette
killing everyone off, 1 by 1
who'll be the 1 gunned down next?

its funny, how did I get embroiled
this madness, its infuriating.

i'm left with the echos in my head
burning bridges, shutting everything out

this is tragedy
living without knowing
makes me logical, illogical?

---------------------------------------
here my entry begins,above was some kinda reflection,this too

whisper:
nights I spent, penning down everything
tossing and turning in my bed, there's no benefit of doubt

I need some help
I miss you most
fingers crossed, im lost and breatheless

who can i turn to
now that you're gone

this wasn't what I planned
worst time in my life

I know you're angry, confused.
mixed reactions, im feeling cold

PS: its funny how my thoughts turn out like this
PSS: fcuk. wake up, our teachers are gone. what do u mean by performing on teacher's day?
PSSS: all i have left, nothing...

2007-04-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

(tragedy!)
I hear the cries
but I don't see the reasons to which
this cry should lead me to
a tragedy
a crowd gathers as I look with curiosity

and as I stare at a masterpiece
I want to give you the grace that led me
to this state of mind
it's beautiful!

and frightened
I approach a crowd
I act as if connive
they stare at me
with bitter dislike
awaiting a proper response
they stare at me

and as I stare at a masterpiece
I want to give you the grace that led me
to this state of mind
it's beautiful

and as I stare at a masterpiece (tragedy!)
I want to give you the grace that led me (tragedy!)
to this state of mind (tragedy!)
it's beautiful (tragedy!)

and as I stare at a masterpiece (tragedy!)
I want to give you the grace that led me (tragedy!)
to this state of mind (tragedy!)
it's beautiful

**END**

its been awhile since i last posted lyrics. I love this song to bits currently. Its not about the voice,the music or anything. it sounds sad.I don't know why. the way the guy sings it or something. I don't listen to ONLY sad songs.

this song(overall):
average voice,average music,average lyrics = a beautiful hit to me

I know not many people listen to the kind of songs I do.but yeah wtv.hope the lyrics appeal to anyone whos reading this.

A Song to me: its not about the voice,the music or anything.its about the heart.the lyrics.

soooo long & goodbye

2007-03-29T15:01:00.000+08:00

finally im back,im feeling dizzy.

entered msn today,my 13 yr friend. can fcuking die man.
so many days nvr enter msn,once enter tio..

u fucking asshole?

[inserttheexpletivesinmy mindhere]

what i don't say out,i hope you all know it from within.

i never thought id be sooo dissed with my friend man,fcuk his behaviour .its so childish.what the fcuk happened after his graduation?.ITE turned him crazy?

my final words to you today

If
to protect me
You
along the lines
Had
to hurt me
Delibrately
please know that
I'd
rather you
Stop
fcukin' protect me.

i think i might die today,fever,this weird headache.maybe im overworked.probably =(

2007-03-18T09:08:00.000+08:00

its been quite sometime.

15 days
finally got your mail,Havn't seen u around lately.

we met online
2years back
I remember the time,we chatted throughout the night 10-3
it was a school week.

asked me out on a skating trip.
declined it politely
went there anyway with some friends.

saw you,maybe you saw me
asked me what i was doing,not joining in.
told you I didn't mix around easy.
you were angry

I remember asking you out for a gig
2 days till i got ur reply
seems to me,you've been to italy

I did this real hateful thing.
thus
when you fell real sick
you didn't come talk to me

didn't know it till afew wks later
guess my anguish,when i heard the news.

heard from that mail,that you're doing better
studies and stuff,i'd sure ur meant for greater heights
don't worry

PS: in gratitude of this girl,who stayed by my side and helped me out throughout.Havn't seen her around lately though.yeah.my closer friends might've heard of her. She's really a good friend of mine. A spunky girl. whom ive not seen online for almst 1/2 a year now.tho we send each other stuff now and then.

2007-03-14T00:37:00.000+08:00

i think im going crazy.im gonna pen something down here.sorry.don't get worried over this,please.I just need to destress.

my wings are torn.
I can't fly,no matter how hard I try
if there's a heaven,i know i might never get there with all the bad things i've commited.
I hate lying..
its a fact,If things carry on this way
I just can't pick myself up anymore.
I wish I had someone to share this burden with.
but everything falls squarely on my shoulders.
I wanna say that i'd be okay,but im feeling sucidal and crazy.
to keep losing everything,everyone slowly one by one..
everything is taking its toll.
my body.Its not failing me..

but im losing this battle.

2007-03-06T00:23:00.000+08:00

kinda fcuked. =(

yeah.
everyone seemed drained yesterday.
finally found that song,the 1 i lost =)
hope everyone feels better

pop-py madness,ALMOST everyone seems to be looking for love.

me,im kinda happy.The way it is.I Guess??.

did I mention that I have a weak heart?IM NOT DELICIOUS.

Dig On This.Im POISONOUS!!! =x

ermx.saw hilmi and haikal yesterday,yeah. =)
wahahax.hilmi my friend of 13 yrs leh..

im burnt out too,you heard it from me

2007-03-02T23:13:00.000+08:00

hear my screams,im crazy i know
my penny's worth
my words

makes me wonder whether I should hate you
At times,I know I should.
I know that you won't believe

I can't.
I care,hate is not part of it
spark of fire,burning me to pieces.
out of words to say.

running's not working
crossroads,my insecurities

tears
they're not spilling
effects of your words,cut me to pieces.

I just can't resist.

you left me speechless
might've left you with none to believe.
shut out all the others

I just can't do this
can't resist

shut me with my insecurites,no one to believe.

PS: my 1st song? or sth...i know its not that good.inspired from this really bad incident.I call it 'Please Don't Believe'. Ironically.
Hope anyone comments on it.
err, thanks for the people who stood by me. You Really Mean Alot.

2007-02-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

something beautiful gone wrong...

seasons changed.
memoirs of our fading days

won't you play my song,the one about tragic lovers
something beautiful,gone terribly wrong.

you don't matter,I pretend.
we might never have been lovers.

I tried
no solutions anywhere
look on your face
well,it made me walk away

trust me when i say,i didn't want to walk away
walking away,I never did turn
and i'll be sleepless.

i can't help but entertain
walking away,the replay
today was just diferent

this is the begining of the end
all of this for nothing
we might never have been lovers
this is the end.

2007-02-19T11:34:00.000+08:00

same ol' morning.

everyone's splitting up.there are no longer any factions.no cliques.no anything.
irreversible effects,defects,they're never gonna be repaired.wounds stay open,hearts lay broken.Tempers frayed.They're all mine tonight.

nothing lasts forever
err...almost nothing

not in the mood for a post,but whatever.

Cranky love songs,warm fuzzy feelings tinged with regret
recurring dreams about this shadowy serpent-like thingy entering my body,bothering me

dreams are nothing,there's no faith.

imma good role model?

managed to convince kang and yuen to quit smoking...wahaha

not letting love enter,play my cards right.Im different from all the rest..

Im gonna be at the top of the world,weird feeling that im gonna give it all away.

I never felt so right.you're my adrenaline,music.
feel up this empty void
within me.
lemme be king throughout the coming nights.

2007-02-15T00:03:00.000+08:00

If Looks Could Kill

If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore, maybe you're a..
If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore..

maybe just a whore

If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore,
I promised so much more,
walking through that door became a chore,
if looks could kill,
if looks could kill.

I'm sorry for, I'm sorry for, I'm sorry for,
bleeding on your porch.
I know I know I know,
knew that it wasn't right,
but of course I tried
to keep my heart inside of my
chest but that fell through
that's why I'm here with her not you

If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore,
I promised so much more,
walking through that door became a chore,
(if looks could kill)
if looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
(if looks could kill)
maybe just a whore,
I promised so much more,
walking through that door became a chore.

It's a comfort to know
that you're watching them
go,
watch your living scream
you're name
is this what you wanted
is this what you needed
is this what you call our bleeding kids
take a run for me, leave them all alone
see their eyes when their love's so far from home
with a flick of the tongue
and the shake in the hips
and the look in your eye
and their ready to lose/and the red in your lips (not sure lol)

If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore,
I promised so much more,
walking through that door became a chore,
if looks could kill
if looks could kill
if looks could kill

I'm sorry for, I'm sorry for, I'm sorry for
bleeding on your porch
I know I know I know
knew that it wasn't right
but of course I tried
to keep my love inside of my
chest but that fell through
well that's why that's why I'm here with you
here with you

If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore

If looks could kill
if looks could, if looks could
you'd be a whore

If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore,
I promised so much more,
walking through that door became a chore,
if looks could kill
if looks could kill

If looks could kill you'd be a murderer,
maybe just a whore,
maybe I'm the
maybe I'm the murderer
maybe you're the whore

If looks could kill
if looks could, if looks could kill
you'd be a murderer
If looks could kill
you'd be a murderer

PS:This is the only 'A Heartwell Ending' song i listen to.its rare.their songs are really hard to find.I know that most of the people here won't like em.but its okay.I finally found the lyrics to this song.I don't really like em.but some of you might like em.they remind me of 'The Starting Line' with more angst.

If U want It.Msg me. =)

2007-02-13T22:46:00.000+08:00

dear bloggy

v-day's tomorrow...

my existence been acknowledged?i guess

how time flies
i'm gonna be 18 in 2mths exactly

this isn't just goodbye

the past 17yrs10mths wasn't exactly easy for me,but im coping well enough..
this desperation?
an endless struggle to survive,ive played around too much.

the way i've been brought up,sometimes it makes me wonder whether im overly-matured or anything.I feel like im jaded at times.

nothing comes free,Its not your fault.

im welcomed to return to npcc now,pondering whether I should return,don't know how'd we'd face each other if we ever met.We'd most likely just walk past each other.We burnt down something beautiful.

heard that you've been studying real hard,im happy for you.. =)

I know you won't believe even if you knew,Ive stopped smoking and everything.
Finally,I can say that i've kept my side of our promise after months of being lost

wondering if i'd be able to enter the courses i want..
a step forward is better than not moving at all.

bless you and everyone else =)

im one of the thousand faces you've choosen to ignore.but its okay.you used to listen to me cry.Relief is all in my head,im harmless.

haha.are shops open on the mon or tuesday following cny?

lol.i can look and be real matured,if needed.wait till the grads see me in my combined outfit.im not a fake,believe it or not.

c'mon babe.let me enter...NGEE ANN POLY!!!.

i need a shot at redemption.
HOPE MY PRAYERS Are ANSWERED,ones for my friends,you and me.

2007-02-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

finger in my throat,down in the pits of my stomache,thats what this arguement feels like..

ahh...

im soooooo surprised to see my nick in someone else's blog
asking me to take care. --->Awkward,yeah.

dw about me
cos I'm real fine =)

weird,im listed as v.gd in that blog.. crazy person .

little black dog(police kinda) on a leash almst bit me when i was below my block,minding my own business.

played bball,we're no longer the same...

stupid rat ran into my path,i avoided it.It WAS real fast =x

something i saw on msn:

++Single++ ++valentineday free++

self-promotion?got me laughing..

its 1205am now.1more day to v-day =)

feeling so lonely,not cos of v-day.BODOH!!!im not celebrating it this year.WASTEOFTIME.Purpose-less.
I know im not good-looking or even average,but if going on dates and stuff mean anything,I could get one on v-day if i tried.BEATS the purpose tho`.

im more than nothing...

did you think you persuaded me to let you go?

Good Morning peeps,its 12:15am.Im ur friend,FY...

Happy V-day in advance,let the hearts collide. <33
lovers interwined
perfumed bodies,dancing 'to' and 'fro'
basking under the moonlight

time halted to a stop,frozen at the moment
our eyes connected

nothing else matters anymore...

together we'll fly away and im wishing you were here

PS:its a habit of mine to like leave something bad at the end.lol.Remove the last line and there will be a happy ending..1 sentence,a couple of words make the whole difference in the world.See (o_O )!!

2007-02-11T19:29:00.000+08:00

WENT TO BUGIS WITH IDZWAN!!!

BOUGHT AFEW stuff...

After CNY,I want go image 2001 buy more clothes....

this funny lady at PS thought i was like working in a shop and went:
what is the smallest size jeans for boys?
got me stunned...idzwan told her im not working there.

PERVERT saleslady at Far East Plaza...almst pulled aside the screen..while I was changing.. PERVERT!!!

FOUND 40 bucks,gave 20 to idzwan

went to cut my hair,my fringe is gone T_T

now look like secondary school cept still got abit of sideburn...haiz

2007-02-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

omg..

i feel fcuking alive..its a weird feeling but I like it.
im hopeful and POSITIVE of my results..
this feeling that Id score.

the assurance that im alive,finally its gonna be out.
im sick of waiting.

i know it means nothing much to anyone else...but i threw everything away for this.FCUK!!
fought back tears,mind and the sense of empty-ness to go through the papers
after all ive put in.i know im gonna pass.somehow

how should i describe this current feeling?

like ive got everything i ever wanted in life?the girl,the cash,friends,family...everything.
like im top dog in the world.

fcuking swear that i can take on a 7-foot enemy now..with my bare hands and tear him/her/it apart.
endorphin?nah.I've not been exercising or out in the sun or smoking or eating chocs.
I don't do drugs EVER.

reminds me of my first kiss,the first cut,the first leap...i feel alive

today im king,tomorrow will see.embrace me..
if anyone sees me now...they'd think im nuts..but i feel REAL good.

if only i could talk to you now but i can't..it'll be my best day on Earth.

im half-smiling now,100 thank yous to you my ex.the impact you've had.
everything i wrote.
you made me feel alive,you always amazed me..ALWAYS!!
this change in me,you won't ever get to see.
As I pray,heaven hold you close.
I'll be alright here.thank you!!!
you're not here with me now

all the best to you too... =)

self-reliant,I feel like a king today.this post is not about broken hearts,its about me.

2007-02-05T15:29:00.000+08:00

Gave It Away

Nice day =) today,perfect even..
thoughts occupy my head,dancing around in the grey mater we call brain
wondering if you've changed,.you're not here with me
change is inevitable,have I changed?
suppress my thoughts,crazy ones in my head,totally uncalled for.

At times we all feel that the whole world's in our clutches,how many would give it away?
I did.unwillingly
Dreams remain as dreams,living in BLACK and WHITE.
I know what I want in this cold,uncaring world that we live in.
everyone seems to fend for themselves only,oblivious to the world around them

Pathetic 17 years of existence,everything's replaying itself
playback movie of sorts,we keep making the same mistakes

feels as if im moving in circles,there's noone to lead me

hope/faith's nothing.
what's there to believe in,when we keep falling

PS: In the end,we're all on our own.struggling for existence.
dreams are not reality,chances are they'll never be..
now tell me,have I changed?

1 day we're at the top,the next we're in the pits

2007-02-04T11:59:00.000+08:00

hmm

tomorrow's leon's bday ===>18th

seems like an eternity,like we've known each other for life
tho~ its only been like 5,6yrs odd at most.

booze demon,he might've become.

Swallow me alive

I feel alive,more than ever..relating with every hate,hurt,pain and lastly life.

absorbing the essence,manipulating it into my brain

allowing it to enter,leaving is hard.

the protective coat from within,music is my life

swallowing me ever-slowly,you're my everything..

pray for you,i'll be alright =)

2007-02-03T16:16:00.000+08:00

i'm so addicted.. xXcrossoutmy<33heartxx

love and breakups are damn addictive.many2x better than bodysurfs,smoking,blood and all the crazy shit.jumping around.Moshing madness.

just a fool for you,... eh when get results?

Sick & tired of waiting.

Im kinda lost lately,hectic life..

hmm.im not troubled by relationship issues at the moment.its all over

think I screwed my hand..sad2

the last sunrise,chose the white path,im not turning back..
my heart's full of black.

PS:yewsheng's fringe now longer than mine,I know I don't cut.. hmm.nxt mth or few mre wks...go cut again. every1's changing,the world's changing.

me?paint it black and white and line it with pink ribbons.
the colour of innocence.
the sake of the childrens..
ever-smiling so pure..

**abstract from yesterday:

the casual glance shot through me
naked feeling,feel of vulnerability
smiling half-heartedly,I shrugged it off.

you,aren't you my enemy?
that pity look,makes me feel alive
guilt's eating into you,doesn't matter anyway

I never mattered anyway
closed my eyes,I looked away.
there's no sense in regret,everything you put me through

my heart's not beating..

_____
...aitez.this thingy I wrote..not cos of badblood or anything.
firstly,its not cos of my ex or anything.
Its more about the double-header(from the old posts i've long deleted)
looked at me like she cared,when she's actually been badmouthing me. yeah.the girl who like..i dunno in what way i offend lar.THAT 1.

its all over,Im not angry or anything.
sucker who judges people from their looks.
even if she said sorry now,it would'nt matter anyway.
apologies I'd accept but they wouldn't change my life in any way.

my goodbyes: other day,i intro you all songs or something over msn.. time to sleep or something =)

2007-01-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

So touched,there are people willing to help me..

my friends are forever.

Mistaken identity,you've got the wrong guy

Im right,you're wrong.

The wrong statement made by your friend..

I have witnesses,loads of em.

I have loyal friends,won't leave me in the lurch.
but I don't wanna play this game any longer
this battle I'll fight on my own.
morale support is all I need.

The warriors of yester-year long forgotten.
They sit and wait
1 wrong word will send anyone to heaven
this game of wits,betrayal and mistaken statements
who'll be at ST.Peter's Gate?

2007-01-26T15:23:00.000+08:00

bright,sunny day.hope everyone's doing well =)

Im lost and hapless as usual..

my words cut through you like paper..Sorry Mum..

chat about life,ended in tragedy.
its my life,my dreams,my wants,my needs...

____________________________________________________________________________________

all i ever wanted was someone who'd listen...
sadly no-one's listening.everyone's so afraid that they'd hurt me deeper.its funny and bloody hard to let yourself be heard when everyone disappears when you need them.IM not Gonna bite or anything.
TRUE FRIENDS don't avoid you when you need them.you need nt hide even.Thats the reason I treasure my graduate buddies and my 1batch down juniors forever.

what more can I ask for?

I can fly and I know IT
don't think I'd need anyone to hold my hands,anymore
tattered wings,the burden out of my sight
I'll take you there...
broken wings,I fly
its lonely here...
unsightly sight,not the usual knight
everyday's a struggle
Vulnerability is my Invinciblity

PS: English as it is,broken..

***Note to Readers ^_^

In life,don't ever fcuking give an inch..
1 inch could've cost you,your dreams
Indulge in constructive criticism
Negative remarks are the ones which will trip you
They cut like knives
Confidence & not OVER-Confidence
the art of of being humble
Swear.It'll take you places.
Don't ever let Positive comments get into your head
Complacency Is Simplicity

Fight for your dreams,believe in yourself if no one does.
You're your greatest fan..

the more you fall,the greater the taste of victory
claw your way through,peeps.

confession:

at times,I admit that im an uber pessimist
for those that know me..they'd tell you the same thing too.

Im the 2 extremes.I can motivate myself or others if need be
that makes me a super optimist right?haha
a thin line separates it all.

hey grad buddies,remember my crappy equations?haha.they are like part of my mindset.im not twisted..
: = (pokerface)

negative + negative = positive(i personally believe in this,I told you so..at least its believeable and you'd say 'right' in a sarcastic tone)

positive + negative = negative(if you're overly optimistic,you'd find that afew setbacks hard to cope with)
negative + positive = positive(the more you fall,the greater the taste of victory concept)
positive + positive = postive(but no1 remains positive permanently so its impossible)

take care boys and girls. kuang4

LAME.IS.COOL \m/

Im always here,whether you need me or not.. =)

kkz.im not really smiling.LOL

-:Dart

can stand for 'Death Is An Art' or 'D 'Art'
literally it stands for the kinda stuff you throw at dartboards or the pictures of people you hate.haha

2007-01-25T23:26:00.000+08:00

going nafa tomorrow.
meet old buddies..yay!!!

I Miss Them...SO much.haha

2007-01-24T22:29:00.000+08:00

Sleepless Nights

nights without sleep

angelic visions in my head

lying here,never certain of anything,anymore

I'll take you anywhere

I failed again,issit really you I hate?

empty hearts,distorted soul

star-less nights,used to mean im thinking of you

now they're nothing

and

i'm changing,we're changing

better or worse,not one to discern

as I lay here shivering

the extreme coldness bites in hard

and

you're not coming back

though our chapters gone

you were so different from the rest

pages torn,sacrifical friendship

I fell apart again

try to hate,I just accept

held you so dear

arms and heart

you were so different from the rest
pages torn,sacrifical friendship

broke our promise,the one i held dearest

about being friends irregardless of anything

you made me cringe

but i'd never blame you,i never will

lost my faith

the angels cry,they pray,they hide

lost my faith

even now

you seemed so right..

_____

PS: 11:42pm.I need sleep and I know it,toss and turn but can't have it.

you're more than a playback

sleeping pills just aren't working anymore..insomnia

other day i post about my grads...

>--(' ')-->

arrow through my head

</33

black,broken heart

you made me realise that "sometimes forever means never".

forever friends mean nothing..

tho we try,I know I did

11:50pm..sleep in peace pls..stop tossing and turning

mr.Faisal Yan

2007-01-22T18:58:00.000+08:00

we played a prank,you fell for it..

you let these come between us.
all these times,we helped you
our generosity were in vain.

we were never one( go),friends(away)
leading separate lives
leeching's your specialty

truth and deceit

blurred visions made us make the same mistakes
over and over again
leeching's your specialty
doing it over and over again.

your private army,you send us straight to hell.
marching hand in hand,sacrifical sheeps of the damned.
the scenes keep repeating,playbacks in my head

we know the verse,the script's in our head
never one(go),friends(away)
you plot our deaths,displaced thoughts...

leading separate lives
leeching's your specialty

shadows on the walls,saw you bleeding on the floor.
lock everything up,throw it all away.

PS:lousy post..no mood..will edit this...sooner or later....

2007-01-19T22:21:00.000+08:00

So stressed.

Warmth Of The Sun(Gone Forever)

know that I can't be there forever,we're fading fast...
you can always burn our photographs,its your choice.
I can't be there forever.
Lost my nerves,my hands are shaking

smile on our faces,waves of my hands.
Gone forever.
we're gone forever,things won't be the same..

wreckage of our friendship,tears-stained face.
lying face-flat on my bed,who's the useless one now?

burn me,im your heretic,here I go..

goodbye..So long
we'll never be the same....

ps:my words.goodbye my friends...

2007-01-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

I fight this war all the time, the classic distant cold war.
These silent wings take me up high and they drop me to die.
Should I just sit here and be burnt?
Or do I put out your flames of gossip?

You point the gun at my head.
You cease the joy that I apprize.
The imp of my content,
The very seed of accidents.
Just forget the history
Don't start conspiracy.

This fighting and crying and lying, backstabbing
You find every way to make life worst for me.
I'm melting, I'm crumbling, I'm tired
and Left in the mercy of your sick corroded mind.

Why are you, laughing in my face?
Take your slander out of my place

Though I am angry, I stop and discern.
And if you won't ask me, then I will not tell.
Someone tell me what I am to do.
Can you fix me? Or pull me through?

Does this give you an outbreak of constant pleasure?
It makes me disgusted and makes my stomach stir.
I can't make out what it is chasing me from afar.
I'm so tired of this conspiracy that's been inspecting me.
Take us away from the hammer and the anvil.
Keep me from Hobson's choice.
I get so scared, that I could lose a friend so dear.
Now and again, my heart.
My heart skips a beat.
You think you see right through me.
Plotting your murder, teaching your students,
The art of breaking a friendship that's so innocent. Stabbing me one by one.
Not taking any chances.

I must learn to love the sinner, hate the sin.

its the completed version of a local song...i support local and foreign music...

2007-01-16T01:26:00.000+08:00

eh.its been awhile.Didn't want to update anymore...

1:27am, im awake.felt fake the past few days..so many uninteresting things happened.

kkz.ok.Jun Jie and the guys missed me.so.yeah.they've been bugging kang with qns about me.like how i am now and stuff.They do have my no. , they could've just asked me out.but they didn't.Hoped that kang would ask me down.Turned up unexpectedly.They were not there.WASTED!!!

went to my niece's bday party yesterday,she's like so young and cheerful...
fished around for afew hrs.I caught nothing..like man.its my 2nd time fishing?I let 3 fishes off.Didn't tried hard enough to reel them in.
Football?.Its been months.No mood to play.Dribbled abit and passed it around.
Ended up falling down in the sand,getting rammed while i was eating..

Heard that,some guy over at hg green refers to me as "The White T-Shirt Guy".ALWAYS!!!
im fine with that BUT,when i wear black..people think that im some gangster-looking shit.and start giving me weird stares.when i wear other colours...i get funny nicks..haha.

there I am with my fake-ness again..i seriously am not laughing...
Friends are quarreling among each other again.its seriously annoying me.
I really wanna tell them that I too am bothered by my own problems.Ahh.well nevermind.Not everyone will understand.While slacking around.We saw my ex...

Mr.Yuen went:

huhuhahi,ni de nu peng you zai qian mian...many times..like haha.whats that man?Machi?
She was at the back and not the front of us actually..meaning..since i was the only 1 facing the front..the 3 of em saw her and I didn't.

I was huh?..wo mei you stead le.I now facing the front...noone there.then I turned around.We saw each other.She treated me as if i wasn't there.NP.im used to it. =)

then Mr Yuen went:

jiang cuo,huhuhahi,ni de nu peng you zai hou mian.then i told him..if gf I happy ar..lol
so now it was...huhuhahi,ni de nu...*then i stared* ex zai hou mian...

then he kept apologising saying that he forgot that we broke up and blah3 still have feelings and stuff..

I pulled him to a corner..asked him what he did that for.Said that he was like just informing me that sw was around as usual.So i'd like not suddenly be stunned.I wanted to scold him.But nevermind.What are friends for?.He meant no harm.

to lighten the mood.I played around with my voice.Lowered it down a notch,spoke some random shit and that was it.Sounded like a DJ or something. 'yo,its me here...do you know that...trails off slowly'.spoke afew sentence actually.

went home after awhile man.after they smoked finish and settled everything.

1 stupid person had to..sms: Lol...Dun be sad... U so gd sure will hav new gf de...Lol.
I was huh?replied...nvm ar.be gay gd.lol as a reply..haha..i was joking man.

some words from my friends over the last few hrs,wks and mths...

yes its just cute that you still compare everyone to your ex... - LT

last time u so scared of girls,at least now not so bad - Idz(yest)

girls are like that - AlexL

since she treat you like shit then why bother? find another one lor - AlexL

nvm.don't need hurry.wait till you find a girl you really like then CHEONG!!! - Idz(yest) ===> my fav. haha.at least not like some funny ppl who tell me..nvm break d ar.go find another 1 tomorrow.SERIOUSLY..lol

Still thinking bout ur ex?Dun be so sad over that girl,I know you really like her but...plenty of other girls around - Idz(yest)===> this 1 im like SO stunned tio..i asking why he wanna find job and suddenly he msg me stuff like this..

so cute sia they all...so happy to know them all.At least they give constructive comments on how i've changed in character.Comment on my dressing or hairstyle...like how i should cut it...what colours suit me and stuff..

2:22 honest...im off to bed..cya in like 1-2wks time blog..

2007-01-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

After much persuasion,ive finally decided to update this old dying blog.
Things are really looking bleak lately.and its not even about my love life or anything.
some things i'd rather not explain..might've something to do with the rain or something.

1st things 1st.I'd like to say sorry if i seem to be a changed person the new few days/wks/months/years?
being nice got me nowhere.Close friends..with all this..you'd know that im gonna be reverting to my darker self temporarily.

i used to say..I won't be the one who lets go of you first.
Im still not..but im letting go of myself...letting the darkness eat into me,strengthening me..changing me..temporarily.dw.I'd be the same after it all ends...sorry if ive let any of you down..

2007-01-04T15:09:00.000+08:00

xXUnwrittenLettersXx

hey.listed below are some stuff ive written the past yr..sums out abt 50% of last yr.
things i've written in response to dumb comments and the labeling that i've received.

As.I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish.I wish he'd go away..

adapted somewhere on the net....by a girl on VF

fcuking helpless,so it doesn't mean that if u put in more effort
ud get a happier ending. SCREWED!!!

a note i placed on my msn...when i was going through depression

thanks for condemning me...
im not a conformist.I do what i want.
I can be brutally honest.I try my best not to hide.People are free to have their own opinions.Its a free world.No one said that it was fair.im fine with that.
SERIOUSLY.i don't need anyone telling his/her friends how good/bad i am.I don't need publicity.Just leave me alone.
i hate backstabbers,trash-talkers and people like that.like disappearing friends.
i love my music(but i can live without it),friends and family,sleeping and stuff.
People tend to judge from the surface.Truth is lots of stuff are hidden deep beneath the exterior.
having a fringe doesn't make u emo or cool or anything.maybe perhaps block your view.
Life's just another game.
.:Just another passing shadow
the opposites collide,make my heart attack

my inner thoughts...after countless labeling and non-constructive critiscism i received..and things that happened afterwards...

you cried, so im engaged to smile =(

created..when i looked back on how i tried so hard to smile and laugh at the same time..notice the =( behind.Its PURE sarcasm.

.::.Forever I Will Love You.::.
.::.Even After I've Faded Into Nothing But A Memory.::.

adapted from somewhere i read...internet?most likely...

*-...the hearts and the wrists you allegedly slit...-*

adapted from VF

ok.haha.if u've read thus far.I *Salute* you.
initially i wanted to write my new yr resolutions..but ended up with nothing after days of thinking. =p
let me try to think of one now...brainstorming session on my own..

*DONE*
try to be happier,study harder(when my sch term starts)
do another bodysurf this yr?(infront of thousands)
kk.most imptly..try to be there for anyone who takes me to be his/her friend as in my resolutions similar to all my previous years..haha.

*PHEW!!!!*

2007-01-04T14:52:00.000+08:00

hmm.kinda sick lately.fevers and the stupid headaches.Unlucky?.the year just started...

not in the mood to hang today.

What happened to my friends?
Grads,bros and sis-s?

Apparently,Jin Hui has skipped more than 1wk of Poly lessons.All I could,today..was to like get him into the mood to study with stuff abt futures & the likes.
The only thing I heard was....'I've changed,im no longer me'.He even told me that he hates studying and poly life.

haiz...left wondering, how a nice,studious and fun friend turned out to become like this.

wonder how i'll cope.
It's not about
fame,fortune and stuff like that.
Its more about survival,determination
To not f***in believe in fate.
If I did,I wouldn't be here today.

If I accepted Fate,I wouldn't have anything leftover..
Defying all odds to live at all.....
f***ers,anyone and even the one above can try to ruin my life
I just won't give in.I play by my own rules.
If I ever wanted to give in to whats in stored.
I'd Just kill myself.There and Then.Simple.

Life's slightly over-rated and Death's not really that scary..

2007-01-03T21:26:00.000+08:00

bad start to the new year.

1st day - friend got problems at Hougang Green

2nd day - received news that another friend(Prabu) is in the hospital cos of Parkour

3rd day - went to like,take my pay...from the motorcycle shop..midway..got 2 asses..find fault with everyone...ask whether we play..dn off course nvr lar...but if they touch me...sure i chui them

hope everything goes well.bless you all.this yr will be better than the last...hopefully.
this yr.my resolution...study harder after entering poly...make poly life beautiful.

2007-01-02T15:48:00.000+08:00

haiz..who is smiling face (: ?

why anyhow tag me?

so many questions left unanswered.

too many things happened recently.Feeling weak,haggard,lost and confused.
sick or sane?

heard that my friend's in hospital for parkour...gtg now....when free then update again....byebye blog and readers...takecare

2006-12-08T22:03:00.000+08:00

yesterday.3 guys and I were robbed at knifepoint...

i didn't wanted to hand over my stuff but....a friend of mine,got chopped,fractured his left arm and was sent to the hospital...

i want revenge.......i ain't even afraid of death...my chest felt as if it was about to explode when my friend got slashed during a struggle...

2006-12-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

two more days.

so much things will be happening then.

A Friend will be heading off to philipines....and I'd be meeting up with some of my fans(friends) I mean.

two more days..and it'd be 6/12/06. 1/2 yr after that stuff..

that rainy day, tears stained face.
the day i walked in the rain..
heartaches,heartbreaks
and
the feel of icy icicles
pierced my heart

its still so hard to smile now.
im such a different person..

thinking back it was today,last year we met....

haha.maybe if i adapt it..i can make it into a song or sth...I <33 my bro...

2006-11-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

hey...

im alive. surprised? I don't blame you. (x

once again,im isolating myself.Its the stupidest thing.Don't really know why im doing it tho~.Wondering whether the depression bug got me or something.Lethargy bites me in the joints,everything.Like im in a coma or something.I feel as if im ready to go.Where?To die of course.haha.Nah.maybe the days are just getting repetitive and isolation has got to me.I really feel that I can relate more to the songs I listen to than the people around me.

a minor part of a chat ive had...

[-dart- ™ ] my head is spinning and im not on drugs says:
we should always lo forward and move ahead
[Zecter-Hunter] -HYPER CLOCK UP- says:
faisal./....i really wonder at times.....how do i have a friend like you who optimistic one
[-dart- ™ ] my head is spinning and im not on drugs says:
cos ive been through many bad things....
[-dart- ™ ] my head is spinning and im not on drugs says:and without my friends or the will to move on...id be stuck
[-dart- ™ ] my head is spinning and im not on drugs says:there
[Zecter-Hunter] -HYPER CLOCK UP- says:
heh....i am very thankful
[-dart- ™ ] my head is spinning and im not on drugs says:
dw.to tell u the truth..initially in sec 4 midway..i hated u..lol.but i moved on fast
[-dart- ™ ] my head is spinning and im not on drugs says:
btw if ur wondering...i m thankful to have a friend like you too
[-dart- ™ ] my head is spinning and im not on drugs says:
[Zecter-Hunter] -HYPER CLOCK UP- says:
keke....i reflected and i agree faisal, n i dun blame you
[Zecter-Hunter] -HYPER CLOCK UP- says:
cos in sec sch.....i made a huge ton of mistakes
____________________________________________________________________________________

seriously ive been wondering,am I really that nice to have around or anything?.basically.Ive been an ass more than once and i know it.aitez.enough of the bad stuff.but seriously who am I kidding?myself?I know that im not as optimistic anymore and the attitude I have currently comes at a price.basically.Ive gotten some pretty nasty comments that im overly-pessimistic that it makes me optimistic.That im too used to shelv-ing my feelings that ive become a fake.

lastly.I dunno when i'll post next.still id like to thank the people around me for everything.and of course Idz...for revamping this blog...and for all those ppl who pestered me to update.

still im left wondering whether its true that as long as there are no dreams,there wont be any failures.If yes.I wanna be nothing when I grow up.forgotten even.who I am and who I make up.I know what i want in life.

you asked me what i learnt from the all the breakups from my 1st ex till like now.total of 3 i guess.

well overall. Id kid myself that.If I have everything that I want now,there wouldn't be any point to living in the future.it sounds cool huh.sensible perhaps.

dear bloggy.ur so irritatingly weird looking and nice to have around.but some things i still will not write here.lets say.my REAL blog is in my Heart.Ur nothing but a mistake waiting to happen and maybe id have to delete you...sooner or later.

I hope that friday will come faster...then we'll speak.and i'll show you how a good actor I am.and then you'll say..ur SO optimistic sia. =)

im bound to fail as a songwriter,should i even be present on the 14th to support my cousin's band?.

cross my heart,I miss all my brothers and sisters.SO sorry if i seemed distant lately.

Ive tried my best,but I failed you still====>hopefully not

lets pray that I don't go 'I've Done Enough' anytime soon.

2006-11-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

today's like yesterday,which is like anyday cept today sucks more.HAIZ!!!

good news 1st,im STILL alive
& I think im gonna make it this time round.

bad news,ive been blacking-out alot of times the past wk,3 times liao.
Im like more curious to why i blackout than am afraid.My hair is been to suck alot.Im never afraid.Im not the kinda ppl who's afraid of DEATH

sums up the day ive been gone...yeah.aaaah..nothing much here.

I couldn't get to sleep 1 morning at abt 11+....i took afew sleeping pills at one go.I logged-out MSN like 146am...7ppl online that time...kk.went to sleep.woke up at abt 3am(splitting headache).I was like suffering from memory lost.Seriously thought that i was dead.

the things that went through me were(from first to last):
1)Panic(was like going...am I dead....then like sth was telling me I was over and over again)
2)Self-Denial
3)Family(wondering what's gonna happen to my relatives if i die)
4)Friends(same as above)
5)Exams(was like fucking angry man,studied so fucking hard this yr.thought that it's stupid for me to die like that)
6)Acceptance

the scariest part was not that man...of the close encounter with death.It made me realise how fragile life was and how inter-related we all are.Initially i was afraid of Death when i woke up without a reason...the feeling was like as if someone smashed my head and stuff..blank and acheing head...after that...Wasn't afraid anymore...

the funniest/scariest thing was i remember parts where like i go to the toilet to wash my face,cry and stuff and i remember like walking around my house....wondering if I AM really DEAD...then what's gonna happen...aren't i supposed to go to heaven/hell..and tugging myself into bed.
Woke up the next day due to my mum's shout or sth.like...i remember the above parts...the thing i couldn't figure was like how come parts of the previous day was like missing even till now from my head.like what i did before MSN and stuff....

2006-11-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

a whirlwind ripped through my mind the past wk or so.Its totally funny and im becoming more and more confused.

I bring forth good news,mostly bad today.

Today,was my combine science exams(Phy/Bio).I studied hrs for physics yesterday...till i eventually vomitted..i was feeling nauseous,even now i still am.So I stopped studying.Today's exam is on BIOLOGY...I totally never touched that yesterday.woke up with a fever.Perservered,rushed to the exam centre.

I was lucky,my memory of bio did not fail me.True,I can never get my As now.Feeling SO disappointed.But im lucky if i even scrape through the combine science exam..Life's REAL UNFAIR.Out Of All The Days I had to fall sick.Work so hard also useless.

You Know something funnier?.This Sat's supposed to be the day where my relatives visit my house(jalan raye).I was planning to go Study on that day with IDZWAN.Received an sms from Ain to join the malays to jalan raye this Sat.Idzwan also going...I need to give Ain an answer by tomorrow.

but exam's on Monday..if i wanted to Jalan Raye..i need no invitation..now im stuck..hopefully I can do this on my own.

YOU KILLED ME!!!

2006-10-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

ive gotten a haircut..and it looks stupid...haha

1st of all..id like to wish ISLA a Happy B-day(her bdae falls on Hari Raya)
wonder how her bday in scotland went....

hmm.been days since i last posted anything i guess.Got quite afew invites to play pool,lan(Local Area Network) gaming and stuff.Ive been rather fine.Thank You!Don't Worry about me till you're done worrying about yourself.

So like I met up with quite afew people today,went to HM to find a cd and stuff.Kinda funny,how my friends told me that my ex was taking a plastic or sth to hide her face.I was like going...AM I THAT UGLY!!! to lighten the mood.Dudes & Dudettes Everywhere.Im fine with anyone who like has 0 intention to like befriend me or like wants to hide from me.Seriously,Im too lazy to bother.Thats why like I totally stopped hanging out,sms-ing and stuff with people.C'mon im peaceful man.If anyone wants to leave me alone like avoid me.I won't purposly go disturb.Im cool with it.

aitez.This yr's Hari Raya.The Saddest I Had..but,I finally got to meetup with my relatives again..=)

i won pool...all cept 1 round....haha.won SO many rounds.im bored. =p

2006-10-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

finally got this weird pic from Leon after a wk or sth.Im gonna upload Leon's "Pool Eyeball" pic soon.haha.We're all into the pool-craze.

more imptly Id like to thank the following people( <33)>for the last couple of months.

1)Leon(jio-ing me out,notes)
2)Jin Hui(jio-ing me for soccer,notes)
3)Edmund(welcomed me into his house,owns a weird dog who doesn't even bark but instead wag its tail when it sees me for the 1st time even)
4)Sean(resident smoker/drinker and a gd disciple)
5)Hwee Yuen(resident smoker/drinker)
6)Raphael(resident smoker/drinker)
7)Psyduck(notes,tagging my board)
8)Cheng Kang(for getting me involved in weird/stupid stuff which is stupid but entertaining,Resident Smoker)

and the 2 girls who got me to quit smoking and gang stuff unknowingly.

hmm.ty.You've all been good listeners.TY resident smokers whom ive used to smoke with and not offer me cigs after i told u all not to.

ty leon for telling me that i look guai without wax..haha

hope that this friday's gathering is not cancelled..meeting for all muslims from my batch.The gals organised a break-fast thingy or sth lyk dat.hope to cya guys/gals then.

-FYI-

hidden,sad msgs involving 3 guys and a golden-haired weirdo

6/4/6,5/4/5,1/4/5,9/3/6

and the inevitable heartaches.haha

2006-10-10T23:11:00.000+08:00

I kept my promises

and im feeling abit stupid about it.
no1s gonna read this.but i just want to say that.

you never see me anymore,but im always there..helping you.
and its killing me - Fai 10/10/06(Dark & gloomy Tuesday) Yan

Attuned to the loneliness in my heart now,im cool with it.Putting my studies infront of my friends and you behind everything else?Eyes glazed with dust.I don't really have much to talk about.Im STILL yearning for forgiveness from everyone.

and the child in us said forever.Now i know you've cheated me like some of my friends....forever friends?forever bros?forever bliss?there's never a forever for anything.
I Know Now

Sometimes Forever Means Never...

and even though i really still wanna smoke when im pissed at least i don't do it now.ive been clean for abt 3wks after that topic which suddenly popped up in the midst of a convo.You knew me the most.Its weird.And I still can't find anyone regardless of gender who understand me so well.but i will continue searching.Im seriously lacking in friends and Id really appreciate it if I had more.But its funny,the way I burn them off.

Don't Be A Stranger =(

err.strangers and badder people than me should remain as strangers.I won't turn to all ye suckers.

I just wanna be with you..

wtv lar i don't need anyone
girls,guys,friends or foes
light or darkness
any will do.

my shadow will accompany me whenever there's light,whenever its dark...id think of.....
yeah2 i love the darkness too.i do admit.sometimes im afraid.hahax.wtv man.not THAT afraid.Imma coward =p
I hope you'd respect my privacy and not like err tell anyone abt this gay-ish blog of mine or like speak of any part of it to ur friends.

its better to not even link me man.will appreciate ppl who not link me

every single thing you said,sticks around inside my head...
-FaiY-

2006-10-02T15:05:00.000+08:00

wonder why im here even..its 3 o'clk.

and just so fooking bored.yeah.its the fasting month and im trying to keep myself in check.

practically stayed to watch Kid's Central and stuff man.Lazing around.Alternating between my music,pcs,my bed(TV infront of me) and staring at the ceiling as always.Things are kinda boring nowadays.At least life's not extreme.

Guess im jaded,its like nothing interests me anymore.im going "whatever" all the time.Guess my attitude's puting lotsa ppl away.lolx.Dun really care abt them anyway.hahax

yup.it doesn't mean anything.anything that i say here.juz crap.

[Desolate ] + [Emotions ] + [Fake Smile ] + [Burning Bridges ] =========>> A jaded ME

i prefer to remain silent and there's nothing you can do about it.

2006-09-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

if you can find these lyrics(below)
i have nth to say... :) :( :P :
typed it out Manually to show my sincerity.not cut and paste.
hope that someone,ANYONE actually goes through the lyrics...anyone can do.
for ppl like luqman.im feeling bored lar.so i typed it one word at a time.Soz if u feel im lame/hopeless.im NOT.im just bored and pls dun say i perasan.TYTY

Here Goes:

do u miss me
do u think abt me.
do i make u cry.
everytime u think of me

I love you
i still think abt u.
u still make me cry
everytime i think of u

i still think abt the photographs we took that eve.
sitting with the.......

no time to think of him

i still worry when ur not around.
do i just wait for u to say.
i just wanna be with u.
I just need u anyway.

do u miss me.
do u think abt me.
do i make u cry?
everytime u think of me.

i love u
i still think abt u.
u still make me cry.
everytime i think of u.

do u miss me(i just wanna be with you)
do u think about me( i just wanna be with u).
do i make u cry (i just wanna be with you)
everytime you think of me(don't wanna live without you)

i love you(i just wanna be with you)
i still think abt u(i just wana be with you)
u still make me cry (i just wanna be with you)
everytime i think of u(don't wanna leave without you)

**END**

I feel so lonely tonight...
<33 the ppl who attempt to talk to me and stuff.

*mua....eeks*
haha did u ever think that im gonna put some kissing thing here?hahax. :p

who are you to tell me whats wrong or right?
-Dart-

2006-09-19T16:30:00.000+08:00

Special Post(more lyrics)

This was my fate, giving in

To your lips, to your eyes

I should have known

It would come back to haunt me

Crooked smile, the reflection in your eyes

That shows my weakness for

Beautiful mistakes,

Something that I know you've seen before,

I'm not the first

Set the trap, I'm falling for it every time

I can't believe

Everyone knew from the start

This would come back to haunt me

I can't stand to see you now!

How could I ever trust you?

Take it back to the streets,

I'll start again

I'll never look back,

I'll never look back, back

How do you feel?

I bet you don't feel anything!

Don't have a heart attack

But I won't stop you

Flying high, razor blades make perfect lines,

On just about anything you want

Broken pores spill out, everything you want to say,

It shows my weakness for

Falling in love with

My wallowing despair that shines in black

It consumes me, I'll take it back

I'll build it back to what it was

I can't believe everyone knew from the start

This would come back to haunt me

I can't stand to see you now!

How could I ever trust you?

Take it back to the streets,

I'll start again

I'll never look back,

I'll never look back, back

How do you feel?

I bet you don't feel anything!

Don't have a heart attack

But I won't stop you

I can't believe everyone knew from the start

This would come back to haunt me

I can't stand to see you now!

How could I ever trust you?

Cut me out, of your life

Like its nothing, like I'm nothing!

Make believe you can love,

That it's better, that your better!

Part of me is gone

You've taken

Part of me is gone,

You've taken

Pieces from me

Take it back to the streets,

I'll start again

I'll never look back,

I'll never look back, back

How do you feel?

I bet you don't feel anything!

Don't have a heart attack

But I won't stop you

You won't stop, you'll never change

note:a song by Silverstein,Always And Never from their album,From The Waterfront.

Someone intro-ed me this song yesterday.I agree that their vocals suck but the music's not bad.

-=life's never a bed of roses=-

**personal note: its not my best intention to burn my friends==>this ain't taken from any song or anything.Im sorry for any trouble ive caused,past,present and maybe in the future.**

1 word to describe my current situation in life: Rocky.

Rocky roads i mean,not the movie.

till we meet again,bye.

Faisal Yan

2006-09-19T16:27:00.000+08:00

Need i say more?.Id most likely be going with darius and some others.

2006-09-14T18:58:00.000+08:00

"Breathless"

We passed though like a nightmare falling down, without touching the ground. This ghost and vacant eyes deceive thee, they've come to take me without words and silence. with a hand now crushing hope this

late kiss, you've come to make this my last night home. I promised everything. The necklace and those

things you made will go with me everywhere I go. Well, its not the end. I wont pretend its impossible to

fix what cant be broke. I'm breathless and disconnected

Take me home, so far away from here. Take me slow, I cant stand one more year. Take my breath away,

wake me up today. I will return for you.

Now I've seen the world through eyes of bitter hate and lies and now I cant stand what I have become.

Was there something I missed? Can you replay this kiss? And the ghost sought by my side, I'm breathless

and disconnected.

Take me home, so far away from here. Take me slow, I cant stand one more year. Take my breath away,

wake me up today. I will return for you.Take me home, so far away from here. Take me slow, I cant stand

one more year. Take my breath away, wake me up today. I will return for you.

I wont forget those times we spent, cutting our silhouette, waking up nights again. I am afraid because

I'm open and undone. I wont (I wont) forget (Forget) those things you said, a stab to the heart and

head, killing without an end. I am afraid because I'm open and undone

Take me home, so far away from here. Take me slow, I cant stand one more year. Take my breath away,

wake me up today. I will return for you.Take me home, so far away from here. Take me slow, I cant stand

one more year. Take my breath away, wake me up today. I will return for you.

2006-09-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

before anything.I'd like to clarify stuff.This blog ain't that personal or anything.Im trying to make it.

A rough description of what i like and don't like(u can opt not to read or stuff yea)

Dart(its not my realname dammit)

Loves

<33 Family And Friends(Believe anot up to u)
<33 Soccer
<33 To Be Alone At Times
<33>Reading
<33 Nighttime
<33 Eating
<33 Sleeping
<33 Bathing
<33 Painkillers(not as in abuse duhh.wtv u think)
<33 Sharp Objects
<33 Pendant(Repairing.I won't just let it fadeaway)
<33 MUSIC!!!
<33 Writing Songs(Doesn't happen alot)

Detests

h8s Smoking(i really HATE SMOKING.its something i do when im troubled.ELSE i DUN SMOKE!!! )
h8s Posers And Fakes.People who make friends just to belong in a certain CLIQUE
h8s People who only look on the exterior(there are many things hidden beyond the surface)
h8s Broken Promises(i will always remember when i stopped smoking for 3mths and u didn't believe me)
h8s People who suddenly disappear(a promise's something.but entirely disappearing is not)
h8s my hair...haha.damn vain.
h8s conforming for the sake of others.To make ppl like me or stuff

last notes:
.
I'll TRY to do this..I Won't Pretend That Everything's Alright When Its Not.
Having A Fringe Covering Your Eyes Doesn't Make Anyone Emo.
Im not EMO.
I SWEAR This Heart's Made Of Stone. =)

2006-09-11T13:00:00.000+08:00

some bands i listen to

Ataris
**Amber Pacific**
All-American Rejects
A New Found Glory
Aiden
Angels And Airwaves
**Blink - 182** (defunct)
**Boxcar Racer** (defunct)
BFMV (Bullet For My Valentine)
Donots
From First To Last
Funeral For A Friend
**Lifehouse**
Letterkills
**Mest**
Taking Back Sunday
**Something Coporate**
Puddle Of Mud
The Starting Line
**The Academy Is**
The Click Five
**The Used**
Yellowcard
**Jimmy Eat World**
**Sugarcult**
**Linkin Park**
**Rise Against**
MCR

and more +++++

Local Bands

A Vacant Affair
Plainsunset

the ones i really like are **STARRED**..some of their songs are hardcore and stuff man.ask me for Lighter songs of theirs.A Good Example is the band Finch.I don't really like their songs but Letters To You is not bad.

2006-09-09T13:09:00.000+08:00

Secrets Don't Make Friends

This place is a bloodbath
And we won't be taken alive
We stand alone
Under fictitious skies

You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my demise
You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my demise
Our hearts beat strong under fictitious skies
You were always my enemy, you suck the life out of me

Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons
Scatter my brains across the wall

You were my compass
Leading me to nowhere fast
Promises were lonely roads
I followed you down like a map

You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my demise
You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my demise
Our hearts beat strong under fictitious skies
You were always my enemy, you suck the life out of me

Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons
Scatter my brains across the wall

Fuck you
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make...

Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me

Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons
Scatter my brains across the wall.

Your words are deadly weapons (Secrets don't make friends)
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons (Secrets don't make friends)
Scatter my brains across the wall

Secrets don't (Secrets don't make friends) make friends
(Secrets don't make friends)
Secrets don't (Secrets don't make friends) make friends
(Secrets don't make friends)

2006-08-28T22:39:00.000+08:00

Titled: Triangle

Just thought that id might as well post some drawings here.Meaningful eh?
No.I did not draw em.But still its beautiful right?

Titled:Faisal

bah.this is how i look like in sec 4 according to the artist.Spot the simillarities yet?.These two pieces were done by the same artist.

PS:I decided to put my drawing at the bottom as a sign of respect to the artist.besides i like the top one better[Triangle].

hopefully id be able to put some drawings here with permission from the artist of course. =P

do you care

-Dart-

2006-08-13T10:37:00.000+08:00

The prince is never going to come,everybody knows that; and maybe Sleeping Beauty's dead

3 and a half hours to soccer match.Im psyched out ready to blow.

yeah.no matter what happens luqman,wan and the rest will always be there for me acc. to luqman

omg
I still can't believe im talking to Mr Faisal- quoted frm Amrita

So Until We Meet Again, I Am Thinking Of You Always; I Love You; I Wish You Were Here...In My Arms

wtv.after this post.I will try not to pasrah anymore.The in my arms thingy..wtv lar.not possible.

Moving on.Idz,Luqman and the guys wish to see me fine and happy into poly life nxt yr

2006-08-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

im fucking erased.........confirmed

Incredible Tales is stupid sia..not evn scary...i can eat my laksa and watch it sia..

Psst.u want a piece of me.Come and Get IT.Worthless.Ur hopeless.

Im empty,where's my heart...

blah.crapping here as usual.Darn stupid Incredible Tales...feel lyk slping bb

2006-08-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

I FEEL LIKE IM FUCKING ERASED........

meh.I will not forget what u did to me.U almost got me killed.

i hate stabbers.stabbystabstab.

PS:That was my pupils.They seem red...if you look really close.Not contacts.What thing fire sia.Its just red lar.Normally black.But can change abit redder if im sad,mad or sense anything bad.

Doesn't have anything to do with vampirism.First you thought that it was cool.Then scary when it became redder and cool once more when it turned back to mild red then black.

Stop Looking Into My Eyes Dudes

-Dart-

fucking erased.gone

2006-07-25T23:37:00.000+08:00

haiz....

just heard frm ISLA(scotland gal) that Ele has brain tumour....

wtf............

haiz...i shudnt visit her i guess..ele asked me out once.to go ice-skating..i was there but i nvr skated wif em.she nvr saw me evn.I know who she is...

basically we nvr went out together bah.

nvm.i tink i shudnt visit her.

Id be praying for her though.Haiz...

tis will be a long night.

i wish things wouldnt be this way man...heh.even though we've nvr spoke b4 IRL.She took me as a friend.i remember her chatting wif me frm 11-3am when i was stressed out even though we both had sch the nxt day.

wish i could do sth.i can't.ALl i can do is pray.......haiz..

Wish U A Speed Recovery ELE.frm the bottom of my heart.

PS:perhaps someday we can go ice-skating together...gigs and all...we will..i promise you..my treat.

remember abt 1 mth back...i sms-ed u for the 1st and only time..u remembered me when we havnt evn been talking for abt since march.i msged u on a thursday...u just got back from ITALY dn..haiz.i remember saying..we wont be meeting anytym soon i guess when u went...take care cya around..

TC BAH.ur a tough gal.i know u can pull thru...someday we will hang out together...ice-skating,gigs and all the stuff u wanna do.

2006-07-16T01:28:00.000+08:00

hey.yea.attended Baybeats.

im a mosher...yea.been moshing all the way since i reached there @ 6:30pm-10:30pm.4hrs of moshing man.beat that.u know.i really wasnt into the moshing thingy initially.but once i entered the mosh pit.i became a different person.

with all the raad music there .i started banging my head and grooving to the beat.it was the biggest mosh-pit for local gigs and baybeats ever.so like a few thousand ppl turned up man.

while moshing.someone elbowed me on my face.haha.its swollen.but nevermind man.im so totally juiced up here.

we were shouting @ the security and chanting LET US IN!!!.but the truth is sunset's performance.yea well its better to be on the outside...creating our own pit with those guys.cos if u moshed in the designated pits,ud be asked to leave.stupid huh.

ahh!!well.well Darius's friend fell in the moshpit.the ppl almst trampled him.haha.lucky.i was standing behind him and used my body to shield.a malay guy soon help along.till he got to his feet.

i left @ 10:30pm after sunset's performance.reached home at abt 12:40am.it is now 1:33am.

i did a bodysurf man.its something when someone.gets carried around by the crowd.1st i stood on the barricades.2ndly i turned my back towards the other moshers and then i leaned back.those 30-40 ppl carried me for about 20secs man.it was so cool.we were like brothers and sisters.

ive lost my voice & my keys somewhere between the moshing and bodysurf...

haha.im one of the 8 or so ppl who did bodysurfs...haha.i kinda lost my head then but it was fun.some of the others landed on their heads..i was the last surfer man before the gig ended.haha.while they were tossing me around and carrying me to the front.i felt as if i was floating.when i was about to fall.those 30-40ppl held on to me to soften the fall.so i yea..landed on my feet.

i love MOSHING!!!!.i love the surfs.outta the 8 of of the surfers.only 1 was a gal.its like we're all united we'd carry the surfer all the way man.and soften their fall wif our bodies

u moshers rock man.we got along so well.no quarrels.an exchange of smiles all around and the headbanging and SHOUTING of songs.we all came for a purpose..to have fun and forget abt our worries.

CEPT for the ginna's...kiddos who fought in the pit man.lucky they had to go back home before 8 or sth.

bless ya all my fellow moshers and hope that everyone had fun there.BODYSURF..haha.the whole 4hrs i was there.only abt 12-13 surfed.but the best surfers were the ppl at the self-created pit man.30-40 ppl gathered around.we dun know each other evn.bt we had fun.
EVerybody.*JUMP*c'mon i wanna see ya all jumping and having fun.

note:
I wish you won't miss me the way that i miss you...
I miss you,don't miss me....
and i miss you

PS:I love bodysurfs....hope to do something as fun and crazy as it real soon.ah well i wanted to chillout anyway.

to all my fellow surfers...we sure were fearless.surfing around in public.haha.damn.all us surfers were photographed liked mad and stuff man.being cheered on and stuff.hahax

bodysurfing is way better than playing flying fox.

2006-07-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

i buried myself alive on the inside...

i hate taking pics.soz.

ermhx.i completely stop smoking and hang wif the smoke-free grp.
haax/hahax/*laughs*

wtv man.its not tat i dun lyk the smokers.i seriously wanted to go to CP.

lay down on the cigs-6/06/6(quoted on tat day)

hmm.and dun view my blog if i dunno u.its personal man.

haha.man.this post is gonna be deleted in 1wks time.

2006-07-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

today....played soccer for 3days in a row...2days street..1day field...played wif home united youth members...they're good.

so like 1st match....we lost to home united members by 1 goal...

2nd match..we trashed peeps 5-2...it was nice.

haha.gotta know afew soccer peeps,gerrald or sth,daryl,brandon,indian guy which never intro himself to me(we call him ashley cole),long jeans step my leg guy and the whit shirt home united player and last but not least my malay goalie(whom we call spiderman)

.
wicked sick.they invited me to play soccer wif them on sundays...but i play wif my bro and his friends on sundays...sad lar.they say sats sometime oso have so its cool.

i remember smoking 15 sticks in 20mins....when i was fucking stressed...

i remember being the fastest smoker among my friends...when i really stressed...but its all over now.i once stopped formore than 3 mths amng the 7mths i smoked...so i smoked lesser than 4mths...abt 1-2mths only..cos i always onhold if i think im addicted...its hard but achieveable

im not happi or anythg..cos i always knew i could stop smoking if i tried.no sense of achievement.

and its a fact...money can never buy true happiness...

cos i never felt happy once even though i trashed ppl at pool and ususally losers pay.

neither can my mp3
but it did give me the inspiration to write songs...which i wrote once for my ex,it no longer exists now.

nor my soccer skills(not good enuff unless im on form then diff case)
but it did help in helping me find new friends

nor my bros could...
cos all they did was offer me more ciggies when i was trying to quit

the bros part..is the sadest case.cos they harmed me more than helping.and fuck em man..not all but 90% of em..cos they never once knew my real name.

but my 2 godsis,real bros(who went through thick and thin with me for yrs and know my real name ) and friends(guys and gals)
did try to cheer me up..but it fails at times when i real shitty down :P
___________________
conclusion:money means nothing cos i always was never truely sad when im without it...single cent even.but i was truely sad when im without friends and care and concern.

TO me.friends mean nothing..not if they're fake,care and concern only makes things worse when everything's settled down if they're scripted.
and even though wise men say that action speaks louder than words...actions can never beat words that come from deep within the heart
thus the pen is mightier than the sword and that people say that words can kill.cos its a fact.that physical scarring can be repaired or restored in many ways but not emotional ones.

and that one lil mistake could cost u everything.and i mean it.
some mistakes in life.we can rectify.and others,no matter what we do or apologies made can never undo.

PS:hehe.end here bah.if u edit some words here and there.u can get a poem or sth lyk dat.Original rite I?things are 4ever going thru my head.I nvr once stop thinking even when im asleep.

abt that song thingy i wrote for my ex ?...its true.i show u parts of it bah..if u dun believe i can write songs.

extract frm song...: there as the clocks tick,mesmerise me...

blah3..will delete post in 1-2wks time

2006-07-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

hey anyone interested in music(alternatives and indies)?...wanna go to this yr's baybeats or something?they're full of local and foreign bands.even the defunct Plain Sunset(SG) is performing..the band which brought u writing email and girl on queen street...

c'mon man..its gonna be fun.but u all want go urslf oso can de lar..cos i got afew friends going alrdy.but if u want.id prefer to be in a larger group.more fun rite?.

wtv man.baybeats rock.its bound to make me forget abt my troubles.temporarily oso happi de ( ' '; )

-Dart-

2006-07-01T08:02:00.000+08:00

I Miss You(Wish I Could Say That Now)

hey.yea the title is kinda weird huh?.It would make a great song title don't u agree?

1st things 1st.may everyone who is seeing this post not comment on it k...

i returned for my cca yesterday.saw her while me and leon was entering..the school.rite.
k man.she looked abit different..sad or sth perhaps.maybe she's not sad...juz irritated.maybe its cos that she saw me or sth.so yeah.im cool wif it.i knew itd be wrong to appoach someone who's like really irritated with you or sth lyk dat.so i decided to hurry to my cca room.on the way there.

Leon:she's changed already
Me:.....
Leon:she's changed alot
Me:....guess so
Me:hey leon.u sent her an sms abt a wk back.did she reply?
Leon:no.never reply
Me:k yea.wish i could help her.
Leon:ya lar.dunno wad happened.she is avoiding me too.What did she do or u do.
Me:hmm.w8 ar.abt 1wk back.Friday.i went are u avoiding me..she went nope.can u dun msg me alrdy?my bill gonna bust liao.
Leon:Ok
Me:4get it man.i tink nothing 1 de lar.shudn't be avoiding u.if she avoid me is natural de *grins*.Life's lyk dat.

kkz.after the cca.We went to play some ball.Leon,Jin Hui & Me.At uppercourt.its the place where the 3 of us 1st met my godsis & my ex.7mth19days back.nonono.dun bother asking me who my ex or godsis is cos i wouldnt tell u anyway.

its kinda dumb man.conversations ruled the court.and playing was at an all-time low.seriously ar.i oso no mood to play de.after hearing to the talks.

so fuckit man.i got kinda low.had a 2-v-1 match to get me hot.the adrenaline thing into my veins.kk.had some nice shots frm the mid.somehow went deep into my thoughts while playing ball.let in some goals.hey man its weird.like im playing ball.but my mind keeps flashing back & forth between the sms's,flashbacks of the things me,my godsis and my ex said on msn,memories & reality.

Leon suddenly rammed my injured leg.forcing me to wake up.it hurts like mad cos my leg is injured and im suffering from serious backaches.but Thx anyway.i hate it when i tink too much.

couldn't really help it man.we're playing Pingpong.Leon & hui love calling it tennis but its called Pingpong.damn sian.everytym i think too much.later will kena ram d.Irritating.

all in all.its a weird day.dunno who spoiled who's day.my appearance spoiled hers or hers mine.I like to see ppl smile cos i dun really have anything to smile about.so like.the expression on her face wasn't helping much lar.

u know dis stuff really made me lose my sleep and i had been rolling around from the time that cowboy bebop anime ended to abt 7:54am when i finally gave in and wrote stuff on dis blog.

PS:wish that i could say i miss you.its true.but i dun miss THIS person.I won't miss anyone who've given up on me and then his or herself.cos its stupid.i wouldnt give a heck if anyone gave up on me but giving up on urself is the STUPIDEST!!! thing ever.

PSS:I knew that after we broke up.our friendship wouldn't last long.no matter what she said initially.Im trying......to hold on to wtv still links us together.FRIENDSHIP?.Maybe it means nothing to you.its so hard to hold on to anything when im doing everything on my own and its really killing me.I HOPE THAT ID NEVER SAY: IVE DONE ENOUGH. cos it means ive given up just like u on this friendship.I accept the fact tat its over.Is it really that hard to even remain friends after breaking up?we dun even need to talk man.all we have to do is not to pretend that the other party dun exist.If its Really hard for you.Tell me.Nah U won't....so get my sis to tell me and then Id say IVE DONE ENOUGH

no hard feelings whatsoever,forever.on my part.

PSSS:hey.u guys would prolly have noticed that afew posts went missing.I deleted em lar.cos they contained my ex's initials and that many people wanted to know who she is.Its over d.So i decided to delete posts expressing my feelings towards her.Not all posts but about 7 of em.the point for me to write dis is so that id at least have a vague idea of how i felt now and then.So dun comment on this post k.I promise to fill u all in bout my life.i only took a hiatus for afew days.Besides my life is not a movie.no point puting everything in it.The other few posts will be censored as in lightened not of swear words but content :P and dun try to look into my smiles.dun tink too much.

yee on is leaving SG once more.1 lepaking bro gone...remember him guys? & gals?

2006-06-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

this is a cake my friend Isla and her friends baked.Ive not mentioned her much cos she's from overseas.I kinda feel like this cake man.Weird.I feel weird like im missing something or sth.

Got another haircut again.2nd in 1 mth.yea.i almost landed in hospital today..crazy bad fall.its not even a stun...painful.i was walking and suddenly wham!!!.won't mention it..

a bunch of SSS prefects were caught running around like wild peeps at Rivervale Plaza today.Bathair was said to be present.like monkey sia...climb here and there.no offence.Plain fun and maybe abit rude.soz :P

2006-06-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

im all burnt out...yeah wtv.still alive

2006-06-17T01:17:00.000+08:00

im gonna try nt sms-ing for 1 day.not sms-ing someone for a day.

Wingyan izzit?the gal hu saw me once @ PPlaza.kaos.if want present.can directly pass to u de lar.stay @ Punggol there oso mah.MY msn is only useful if ur a night person lyk me.

abt my hp no. 4get it. -hAhha.-

enjoy ur trip weird gal n dun spread rumors.

meh.wanna thnk godsis(no.2) for playing games thru msn wif me till 1:20am.gotta wake @ 6

weird.juz saw leon on msn...frm npcc room....haha.while im at home 1:24am.send him songs..haha

2006-06-09T00:30:00.000+08:00

hmm.back to the previous post...point is.things change.

every begining has an end.Yeah.i dunno what u guys think abt the ending to my BGR.even though u guys told me that things are not supposed to end this way.Not after what i did.My repeated attempts to make things ok.

im glad to remain friends.maybe im naive.

u guys asked me to find the creeps that spoiled this.i tell u what.c'mon man.its too late.i dun wanna find fault.This is my style.

think..if i talk to her frens...later they complain to her parents or approach her or my godsis to find fault how?

ive become weak err soft after knowing her..so?.im not such a hothead now.isn't that good enough?

listen.these peeps are only in sec 2...another 2 yrs together.im not selfish.neither am i selfless.i dun wanna be a hero but in this circumstances im forced to be 1.

-* there is nothing that we can do about the things that we have to do without.*=====>LOOK HERE

ty all for being my friends.for getting to know me before making assumptions abt my character.for not spreading false facts abt me.For letting me remain an unknown when we were in SSS.For lending me a listening ear(leon,jin hui,idz,luqman,angelo,edmund,jade,sw,melvin,ain,yijia,yu bin,LT(oz),Darius,Gibs(oz),Isla(swi)).

I owe u all far too much.remember when there was this peer support shit and I said that im Faisal Yan and im anti-social and sat down lyk its no1s business?.those were the days.

i was right when i told u guys that 4yrs would pass by quickly.was wrong when i assumed that i didnt need anyone's help in these 4 yrs.

Can't believe that u peeps somehow made me become frens wif u all.Back then i didn't want to know so many ppl.cos i didnt want to make ppl worry abt me.my style.

yea.i still remembered when everyone assumed that i was cold and didnt bother to chat with me.u guys saw thru my coldness.tyty.

its a well-known fact that im cold,unresponsive and all if u dunno me.

I PROMISE THAT...I won't change.remain cool and just be myself no matter whatever happens.those creeps can take away everything but u peeps know me better than that.

:) :) :) :)

good times last forever..........forget me if u must :p

im just another passing shadow in ur lifes.thats what i used to say and still would say to strangers or ppl i dunno well.haha.im ME.dw dw.

2006-06-06T22:41:00.000+08:00

text message:msg 9

After all tat was
said,i tink it is
better 2 remain as
frens.I wan 2
cncentrate on
studies.If u meet
sum1 better go 4
it.
Dun hestitae. :)

2006-06-06T01:17:00.000+08:00

My 2nd God-sis...

hmm.while talking to a friend...one whom know me less than 3mths back.she suddenly asked me to be her Gan-Ge..i went cannot lar...i dun ask ppl out de....im bad..ur good.

she went...hehex...no lor.and suddenly i became her god-bro...diaoxx...lyk dis oso can.

her reason for me to become her god-bro is that we are abit alike...yeah...we are...both have family and relationship problems and stuff...quite funny

so i have my 2nd godsis

my bros u all shud know alrdy lar
my meis onli got 2:
Jade and Deadhuan

-Dart-

2006-06-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

hey.here is an artpiece by a friend called Edmund.A good artist,friend,joker and last and not least a TRUE scout and buddy who lends a helping hand to me every once in a while.ESP.Long Pants. Titled:Archangel With You

concidentally,i kinda got angry with her today.Maybe im immatured.Yeah.well..found this piece meaningful even though its not well done according to Edmund.I love it though.

dunno y we can't connect as well as before.i know im no angel or anything but.....i really like u.no matter what u say.

ur guess that i don't need u is unfounded.U dun need me have lar...

this new song is dedicated to SW even though 99% this blog wont be acessible to her and lots more...wahaha.anyway.sorry

TC
-Dart-

2006-05-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

hi2..my grandma and cuzs miss me or sth.Been abt 1mth since i last visited my grandma(nenek)..malay side.

hmm.its weird how a insignificant person like me will be missed by SO many ppl.

they were asking why i didn't meet up and stuff.

gonna go this sat...yeah..i kinda miss my grandma too.Even though she's REAL NAGGY and stuff.Serious.

yeah.The Pic(my uncle's room) was taken frm my low-quality hp...ahh well....planned to put a pic of me or my friends....but they were deleted or sth.

Rough Description of how i look like
-2 eyes
-1 nose
-2 ears
-1 mouth

a typical human.

haha.kekekeke.
-black hair(messy2 de & not nice oso)
-175cm or sth...taller than that by abit(quite short too.my max ht attainable is 181cm..Ive checked)
-average looking(below average??)
-Lanky (skin,bones and meat(flesh))
-black eyes...glassy kind...lyk dead ppl acc to some friends

im usually in jeans,T-shirt/Polo...hmm dats all

looks like there isn't the slightest of chance that we'll ever be friends..even though ur the best friend of...

To CS:i really tried to undo ur impression of me.Ur eyes and of those so many others...Those 'hollowed' scrutinising abyss judge me.Tell the truth.Have U ever tried to forget whatever wrongdoings i did to offend u unintentionally?.Its SO Hard to understand...

I tried to smile but U just shrugged it off and turned away...

-complaining about me whatsoever.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no love lost cs...all these above were meant for u..These were my words.Not some old lyrics taken off a song.

-Dart-