haiz....
just heard frm ISLA(scotland gal) that Ele has brain tumour....
wtf............
haiz...i shudnt visit her i guess..ele asked me out once.to go ice-skating..i was there but i nvr skated wif em.she nvr saw me evn.I know who she is...
basically we nvr went out together bah.
nvm.i tink i shudnt visit her.
Id be praying for her though.Haiz...
tis will be a long night.
i wish things wouldnt be this way man...heh.even though we've nvr spoke b4 IRL.She took me as a friend.i remember her chatting wif me frm 11-3am when i was stressed out even though we both had sch the nxt day.
wish i could do sth.i can't.ALl i can do is pray.......haiz..
Wish U A Speed Recovery ELE.frm the bottom of my heart.
PS:perhaps someday we can go ice-skating together...gigs and all...we will..i promise you..my treat.
remember abt 1 mth back...i sms-ed u for the 1st and only time..u remembered me when we havnt evn been talking for abt since march.i msged u on a thursday...u just got back from ITALY dn..haiz.i remember saying..we wont be meeting anytym soon i guess when u went...take care cya around..
TC BAH.ur a tough gal.i know u can pull thru...someday we will hang out together...ice-skating,gigs and all the stuff u wanna do.
posted at [11:37 PM]
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hey.yea.attended Baybeats.
im a mosher...yea.been moshing all the way since i reached there @ 6:30pm-10:30pm.4hrs of moshing man.beat that.u know.i really wasnt into the moshing thingy initially.but once i entered the mosh pit.i became a different person.
with all the raad music there .i started banging my head and grooving to the beat.it was the biggest mosh-pit for local gigs and baybeats ever.so like a few thousand ppl turned up man.
while moshing.someone elbowed me on my face.haha.its swollen.but nevermind man.im so totally juiced up here.
we were shouting @ the security and chanting LET US IN!!!.but the truth is sunset's performance.yea well its better to be on the outside...creating our own pit with those guys.cos if u moshed in the designated pits,ud be asked to leave.stupid huh.
ahh!!well.well Darius's friend fell in the moshpit.the ppl almst trampled him.haha.lucky.i was standing behind him and used my body to shield.a malay guy soon help along.till he got to his feet.
i left @ 10:30pm after sunset's performance.reached home at abt 12:40am.it is now 1:33am.
i did a bodysurf man.its something when someone.gets carried around by the crowd.1st i stood on the barricades.2ndly i turned my back towards the other moshers and then i leaned back.those 30-40 ppl carried me for about 20secs man.it was so cool.we were like brothers and sisters.
ive lost my voice & my keys somewhere between the moshing and bodysurf...
haha.im one of the 8 or so ppl who did bodysurfs...haha.i kinda lost my head then but it was fun.some of the others landed on their heads..i was the last surfer man before the gig ended.haha.while they were tossing me around and carrying me to the front.i felt as if i was floating.when i was about to fall.those 30-40ppl held on to me to soften the fall.so i yea..landed on my feet.
i love MOSHING!!!!.i love the surfs.outta the 8 of of the surfers.only 1 was a gal.its like we're all united we'd carry the surfer all the way man.and soften their fall wif our bodies
u moshers rock man.we got along so well.no quarrels.an exchange of smiles all around and the headbanging and SHOUTING of songs.we all came for a purpose..to have fun and forget abt our worries.
CEPT for the ginna's...kiddos who fought in the pit man.lucky they had to go back home before 8 or sth.
bless ya all my fellow moshers and hope that everyone had fun there.BODYSURF..haha.the whole 4hrs i was there.only abt 12-13 surfed.but the best surfers were the ppl at the self-created pit man.30-40 ppl gathered around.we dun know each other evn.bt we had fun.
EVerybody.*JUMP*c'mon i wanna see ya all jumping and having fun.
note:
I wish you won't miss me the way that i miss you...
I miss you,don't miss me....
and i miss you
PS:I love bodysurfs....hope to do something as fun and crazy as it real soon.ah well i wanted to chillout anyway.
to all my fellow surfers...we sure were fearless.surfing around in public.haha.damn.all us surfers were photographed liked mad and stuff man.being cheered on and stuff.hahax
bodysurfing is way better than playing flying fox.
posted at [1:28 AM]
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i buried myself alive on the inside...
i hate taking pics.soz.
ermhx.i completely stop smoking and hang wif the smoke-free grp.
haax/hahax/*laughs*
wtv man.its not tat i dun lyk the smokers.i seriously wanted to go to CP.
lay down on the cigs-6/06/6(quoted on tat day)
hmm.and dun view my blog if i dunno u.its personal man.
haha.man.this post is gonna be deleted in 1wks time.
posted at [11:15 PM]
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today....played soccer for 3days in a row...2days street..1day field...played wif home united youth members...they're good.
so like 1st match....we lost to home united members by 1 goal...
2nd match..we trashed peeps 5-2...it was nice.
haha.gotta know afew soccer peeps,gerrald or sth,daryl,brandon,indian guy which never intro himself to me(we call him ashley cole),long jeans step my leg guy and the whit shirt home united player and last but not least my malay goalie(whom we call spiderman)
.
wicked sick.they invited me to play soccer wif them on sundays...but i play wif my bro and his friends on sundays...sad lar.they say sats sometime oso have so its cool.
i remember smoking 15 sticks in 20mins....when i was fucking stressed...
i remember being the fastest smoker among my friends...when i really stressed...but its all over now.i once stopped formore than 3 mths amng the 7mths i smoked...so i smoked lesser than 4mths...abt 1-2mths only..cos i always onhold if i think im addicted...its hard but achieveable
im not happi or anythg..cos i always knew i could stop smoking if i tried.no sense of achievement.
and its a fact...money can never buy true happiness...
cos i never felt happy once even though i trashed ppl at pool and ususally losers pay.
neither can my mp3
but it did give me the inspiration to write songs...which i wrote once for my ex,it no longer exists now.
nor my soccer skills(not good enuff unless im on form then diff case)
but it did help in helping me find new friends
nor my bros could...
cos all they did was offer me more ciggies when i was trying to quit
the bros part..is the sadest case.cos they harmed me more than helping.and fuck em man..not all but 90% of em..cos they never once knew my real name.
but my 2 godsis,real bros(who went through thick and thin with me for yrs and know my real name ) and friends(guys and gals)
did try to cheer me up..but it fails at times when i real shitty down :P
___________________
conclusion:money means nothing cos i always was never truely sad when im without it...single cent even.but i was truely sad when im without friends and care and concern.
TO me.friends mean nothing..not if they're fake,care and concern only makes things worse when everything's settled down if they're scripted.
and even though wise men say that action speaks louder than words...actions can never beat words that come from deep within the heart
thus the pen is mightier than the sword and that people say that words can kill.cos its a fact.that physical scarring can be repaired or restored in many ways but not emotional ones.
and that one lil mistake could cost u everything.and i mean it.
some mistakes in life.we can rectify.and others,no matter what we do or apologies made can never undo.
PS:hehe.end here bah.if u edit some words here and there.u can get a poem or sth lyk dat.Original rite I?things are 4ever going thru my head.I nvr once stop thinking even when im asleep.
abt that song thingy i wrote for my ex ?...its true.i show u parts of it bah..if u dun believe i can write songs.
extract frm song...: there as the clocks tick,mesmerise me...
blah3..will delete post in 1-2wks time
posted at [10:31 PM]
hey anyone interested in music(alternatives and indies)?...wanna go to this yr's baybeats or something?they're full of local and foreign bands.even the defunct Plain Sunset(SG) is performing..the band which brought u writing email and girl on queen street...
c'mon man..its gonna be fun.but u all want go urslf oso can de lar..cos i got afew friends going alrdy.but if u want.id prefer to be in a larger group.more fun rite?.
wtv man.baybeats rock.its bound to make me forget abt my troubles.temporarily oso happi de ( ' '; )
-Dart-
posted at [10:12 PM]
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I Miss You(Wish I Could Say That Now)
hey.yea the title is kinda weird huh?.It would make a great song title don't u agree?
1st things 1st.may everyone who is seeing this post not comment on it k...
i returned for my cca yesterday.saw her while me and leon was entering..the school.rite.
k man.she looked abit different..sad or sth perhaps.maybe she's not sad...juz irritated.maybe its cos that she saw me or sth.so yeah.im cool wif it.i knew itd be wrong to appoach someone who's like really irritated with you or sth lyk dat.so i decided to hurry to my cca room.on the way there.
Leon:she's changed already
Me:.....
Leon:she's changed alot
Me:....guess so
Me:hey leon.u sent her an sms abt a wk back.did she reply?
Leon:no.never reply
Me:k yea.wish i could help her.
Leon:ya lar.dunno wad happened.she is avoiding me too.What did she do or u do.
Me:hmm.w8 ar.abt 1wk back.Friday.i went are u avoiding me..she went nope.can u dun msg me alrdy?my bill gonna bust liao.
Leon:Ok
Me:4get it man.i tink nothing 1 de lar.shudn't be avoiding u.if she avoid me is natural de *grins*.Life's lyk dat.
kkz.after the cca.We went to play some ball.Leon,Jin Hui & Me.At uppercourt.its the place where the 3 of us 1st met my godsis & my ex.7mth19days back.nonono.dun bother asking me who my ex or godsis is cos i wouldnt tell u anyway.
its kinda dumb man.conversations ruled the court.and playing was at an all-time low.seriously ar.i oso no mood to play de.after hearing to the talks.
so fuckit man.i got kinda low.had a 2-v-1 match to get me hot.the adrenaline thing into my veins.kk.had some nice shots frm the mid.somehow went deep into my thoughts while playing ball.let in some goals.hey man its weird.like im playing ball.but my mind keeps flashing back & forth between the sms's,flashbacks of the things me,my godsis and my ex said on msn,memories & reality.
Leon suddenly rammed my injured leg.forcing me to wake up.it hurts like mad cos my leg is injured and im suffering from serious backaches.but Thx anyway.i hate it when i tink too much.
couldn't really help it man.we're playing Pingpong.Leon & hui love calling it tennis but its called Pingpong.damn sian.everytym i think too much.later will kena ram d.Irritating.
all in all.its a weird day.dunno who spoiled who's day.my appearance spoiled hers or hers mine.I like to see ppl smile cos i dun really have anything to smile about.so like.the expression on her face wasn't helping much lar.
u know dis stuff really made me lose my sleep and i had been rolling around from the time that cowboy bebop anime ended to abt 7:54am when i finally gave in and wrote stuff on dis blog.
PS:wish that i could say i miss you.its true.but i dun miss THIS person.I won't miss anyone who've given up on me and then his or herself.cos its stupid.i wouldnt give a heck if anyone gave up on me but giving up on urself is the STUPIDEST!!! thing ever.
PSS:I knew that after we broke up.our friendship wouldn't last long.no matter what she said initially.Im trying......to hold on to wtv still links us together.FRIENDSHIP?.Maybe it means nothing to you.its so hard to hold on to anything when im doing everything on my own and its really killing me.I HOPE THAT ID NEVER SAY: IVE DONE ENOUGH. cos it means ive given up just like u on this friendship.I accept the fact tat its over.Is it really that hard to even remain friends after breaking up?we dun even need to talk man.all we have to do is not to pretend that the other party dun exist.If its Really hard for you.Tell me.Nah U won't....so get my sis to tell me and then Id say IVE DONE ENOUGH
no hard feelings whatsoever,forever.on my part.
PSSS:hey.u guys would prolly have noticed that afew posts went missing.I deleted em lar.cos they contained my ex's initials and that many people wanted to know who she is.Its over d.So i decided to delete posts expressing my feelings towards her.Not all posts but about 7 of em.the point for me to write dis is so that id at least have a vague idea of how i felt now and then.So dun comment on this post k.I promise to fill u all in bout my life.i only took a hiatus for afew days.Besides my life is not a movie.no point puting everything in it.The other few posts will be censored as in lightened not of swear words but content :P and dun try to look into my smiles.dun tink too much.
yee on is leaving SG once more.1 lepaking bro gone...remember him guys? & gals?
posted at [8:02 AM]
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