Tuesday, November 07, 2006
today's like yesterday,which is like anyday cept today sucks more.HAIZ!!!
good news 1st,im STILL alive
& I think im gonna make it this time round.
bad news,ive been blacking-out alot of times the past wk,3 times liao.
Im like more curious to why i blackout than am afraid.My hair is been to suck alot.Im never afraid.Im not the kinda ppl who's afraid of DEATH
sums up the day ive been gone...yeah.aaaah..nothing much here.
I couldn't get to sleep 1 morning at abt 11+....i took afew sleeping pills at one go.I logged-out MSN like 146am...7ppl online that time...kk.went to sleep.woke up at abt 3am(splitting headache).I was like suffering from memory lost.Seriously thought that i was dead.
the things that went through me were(from first to last):
1)Panic(was like going...am I dead....then like sth was telling me I was over and over again)
2)Self-Denial
3)Family(wondering what's gonna happen to my relatives if i die)
4)Friends(same as above)
5)Exams(was like fucking angry man,studied so fucking hard this yr.thought that it's stupid for me to die like that)
6)Acceptance
the scariest part was not that man...of the close encounter with death.It made me realise how fragile life was and how inter-related we all are.Initially i was afraid of Death when i woke up without a reason...the feeling was like as if someone smashed my head and stuff..blank and acheing head...after that...Wasn't afraid anymore...
the funniest/scariest thing was i remember parts where like i go to the toilet to wash my face,cry and stuff and i remember like walking around my house....wondering if I AM really DEAD...then what's gonna happen...aren't i supposed to go to heaven/hell..and tugging myself into bed.
Woke up the next day due to my mum's shout or sth.like...i remember the above parts...the thing i couldn't figure was like how come parts of the previous day was like missing even till now from my head.like what i did before MSN and stuff....
posted at [10:43 PM]
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