Tuesday, January 30, 2007
So touched,there are people willing to help me..
my friends are forever.
Mistaken identity,you've got the wrong guy
Im right,you're wrong.
The wrong statement made by your friend..
I have witnesses,loads of em.
I have loyal friends,won't leave me in the lurch.
but I don't wanna play this game any longer
this battle I'll fight on my own.
morale support is all I need.
The warriors of yester-year long forgotten.
They sit and wait
1 wrong word will send anyone to heaven
this game of wits,betrayal and mistaken statements
who'll be at ST.Peter's Gate?
posted at [6:10 PM]
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bright,sunny day.hope everyone's doing well =)
Im lost and hapless as usual..
my words cut through you like paper..Sorry Mum..
chat about life,ended in tragedy.
its my life,my dreams,my wants,my needs...
____________________________________________________________________________________
all i ever wanted was someone who'd listen...
sadly no-one's listening.everyone's so afraid that they'd hurt me deeper.its funny and bloody hard to let yourself be heard when everyone disappears when you need them.IM not Gonna bite or anything.
TRUE FRIENDS don't avoid you when you need them.you need nt hide even.Thats the reason I treasure my graduate buddies and my 1batch down juniors forever.
what more can I ask for?
I can fly and I know IT
don't think I'd need anyone to hold my hands,anymore
tattered wings,the burden out of my sight
I'll take you there...
broken wings,I fly
its lonely here...
unsightly sight,not the usual knight
everyday's a struggle
Vulnerability is my Invinciblity
PS: English as it is,broken..
***Note to Readers ^_^
In life,don't ever fcuking give an inch..
1 inch could've cost you,your dreams
Indulge in constructive criticism
Negative remarks are the ones which will trip you
They cut like knives
Confidence & not OVER-Confidence
the art of of being humble
Swear.It'll take you places.
Don't ever let Positive comments get into your head
Complacency Is Simplicity
Fight for your dreams,believe in yourself if no one does.
You're your greatest fan..
the more you fall,the greater the taste of victory
claw your way through,peeps.
confession:
at times,I admit that im an uber pessimist
for those that know me..they'd tell you the same thing too.
Im the 2 extremes.I can motivate myself or others if need be
that makes me a super optimist right?haha
a thin line separates it all.
hey grad buddies,remember my crappy equations?haha.they are like part of my mindset.im not twisted..
: = (pokerface)
negative + negative = positive(i personally believe in this,I told you so..at least its believeable and you'd say 'right' in a sarcastic tone)
positive + negative = negative(if you're overly optimistic,you'd find that afew setbacks hard to cope with)
negative + positive = positive(the more you fall,the greater the taste of victory concept)
positive + positive = postive(but no1 remains positive permanently so its impossible)
take care boys and girls. kuang4
LAME.IS.COOL \m/
Im always here,whether you need me or not.. =)
kkz.im not really smiling.LOL
-:Dart
can stand for 'Death Is An Art' or 'D 'Art'
literally it stands for the kinda stuff you throw at dartboards or the pictures of people you hate.haha
posted at [3:23 PM]
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Thursday, January 25, 2007
going nafa tomorrow.
meet old buddies..yay!!!
I Miss Them...SO much.haha
posted at [11:26 PM]
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Sleepless Nights
nights without sleep
angelic visions in my head
lying here,never certain of anything,anymore
I'll take you anywhere
I failed again,issit really you I hate?
empty hearts,distorted soul
star-less nights,used to mean im thinking of you
now they're nothing
and
i'm changing,we're changing
better or worse,not one to discern
as I lay here shivering
the extreme coldness bites in hard
and
you're not coming back
though our chapters gone
you were so different from the rest
pages torn,sacrifical friendship
I fell apart again
try to hate,I just accept
held you so dear
arms and heart
you were so different from the rest
pages torn,sacrifical friendship
broke our promise,the one i held dearest
about being friends irregardless of anything
you made me cringe
but i'd never blame you,i never will
lost my faith
the angels cry,they pray,they hide
lost my faith
even now
you seemed so right..
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PS: 11:42pm.I need sleep and I know it,toss and turn but can't have it.
you're more than a playback
sleeping pills just aren't working anymore..insomnia
other day i post about my grads...
>--(' ')-->
arrow through my head
</33
black,broken heart
you made me realise that "sometimes forever means never".
forever friends mean nothing..
tho we try,I know I did
11:50pm..sleep in peace pls..stop tossing and turning
mr.Faisal Yan
posted at [10:29 PM]
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we played a prank,you fell for it..
you let these come between us.
all these times,we helped you
our generosity were in vain.
we were never one( go),friends(away)
leading separate lives
leeching's your specialty
truth and deceit
blurred visions made us make the same mistakes
over and over again
leeching's your specialty
doing it over and over again.
your private army,you send us straight to hell.
marching hand in hand,sacrifical sheeps of the damned.
the scenes keep repeating,playbacks in my head
we know the verse,the script's in our head
never one(go),friends(away)
you plot our deaths,displaced thoughts...
leading separate lives
leeching's your specialty
shadows on the walls,saw you bleeding on the floor.
lock everything up,throw it all away.
PS:lousy post..no mood..will edit this...sooner or later....
posted at [6:58 PM]
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So stressed.
Warmth Of The Sun(Gone Forever)
know that I can't be there forever,we're fading fast...
you can always burn our photographs,its your choice.
I can't be there forever.
Lost my nerves,my hands are shaking
smile on our faces,waves of my hands.
Gone forever.
we're gone forever,things won't be the same..
wreckage of our friendship,tears-stained face.
lying face-flat on my bed,who's the useless one now?
burn me,im your heretic,here I go..
goodbye..So long
we'll never be the same....
ps:my words.goodbye my friends...
posted at [10:21 PM]
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I fight this war all the time, the classic distant cold war.
These silent wings take me up high and they drop me to die.
Should I just sit here and be burnt?
Or do I put out your flames of gossip?
You point the gun at my head.
You cease the joy that I apprize.
The imp of my content,
The very seed of accidents.
Just forget the history
Don't start conspiracy.
This fighting and crying and lying, backstabbing
You find every way to make life worst for me.
I'm melting, I'm crumbling, I'm tired
and Left in the mercy of your sick corroded mind.
Why are you, laughing in my face?
Take your slander out of my place
Though I am angry, I stop and discern.
And if you won't ask me, then I will not tell.
Someone tell me what I am to do.
Can you fix me? Or pull me through?
Does this give you an outbreak of constant pleasure?
It makes me disgusted and makes my stomach stir.
I can't make out what it is chasing me from afar.
I'm so tired of this conspiracy that's been inspecting me.
Take us away from the hammer and the anvil.
Keep me from Hobson's choice.
I get so scared, that I could lose a friend so dear.
Now and again, my heart.
My heart skips a beat.
You think you see right through me.
Plotting your murder, teaching your students,
The art of breaking a friendship that's so innocent. Stabbing me one by one.
Not taking any chances.
I must learn to love the sinner, hate the sin.
its the completed version of a local song...i support local and foreign music...
posted at [12:00 AM]
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007
eh.its been awhile.Didn't want to update anymore...
1:27am, im awake.felt fake the past few days..so many uninteresting things happened.
kkz.ok.Jun Jie and the guys missed me.so.yeah.they've been bugging kang with qns about me.like how i am now and stuff.They do have my no. , they could've just asked me out.but they didn't.Hoped that kang would ask me down.Turned up unexpectedly.They were not there.WASTED!!!
went to my niece's bday party yesterday,she's like so young and cheerful...
fished around for afew hrs.I caught nothing..like man.its my 2nd time fishing?I let 3 fishes off.Didn't tried hard enough to reel them in.
Football?.Its been months.No mood to play.Dribbled abit and passed it around.
Ended up falling down in the sand,getting rammed while i was eating..
Heard that,some guy over at hg green refers to me as "The White T-Shirt Guy".ALWAYS!!!
im fine with that BUT,when i wear black..people think that im some gangster-looking shit.and start giving me weird stares.when i wear other colours...i get funny nicks..haha.
there I am with my fake-ness again..i seriously am not laughing...
Friends are quarreling among each other again.its seriously annoying me.
I really wanna tell them that I too am bothered by my own problems.Ahh.well nevermind.Not everyone will understand.While slacking around.We saw my ex...
Mr.Yuen went:
huhuhahi,ni de nu peng you zai qian mian...many times..like haha.whats that man?Machi?
She was at the back and not the front of us actually..meaning..since i was the only 1 facing the front..the 3 of em saw her and I didn't.
I was huh?..wo mei you stead le.I now facing the front...noone there.then I turned around.We saw each other.She treated me as if i wasn't there.NP.im used to it. =)
then Mr Yuen went:
jiang cuo,huhuhahi,ni de nu peng you zai hou mian.then i told him..if gf I happy ar..lol
so now it was...huhuhahi,ni de nu...*then i stared* ex zai hou mian...
then he kept apologising saying that he forgot that we broke up and blah3 still have feelings and stuff..
I pulled him to a corner..asked him what he did that for.Said that he was like just informing me that sw was around as usual.So i'd like not suddenly be stunned.I wanted to scold him.But nevermind.What are friends for?.He meant no harm.
to lighten the mood.I played around with my voice.Lowered it down a notch,spoke some random shit and that was it.Sounded like a DJ or something. 'yo,its me here...do you know that...trails off slowly'.spoke afew sentence actually.
went home after awhile man.after they smoked finish and settled everything.
1 stupid person had to..sms: Lol...Dun be sad... U so gd sure will hav new gf de...Lol.
I was huh?replied...nvm ar.be gay gd.lol as a reply..haha..i was joking man.
some words from my friends over the last few hrs,wks and mths...
yes its just cute that you still compare everyone to your ex... - LT
last time u so scared of girls,at least now not so bad - Idz(yest)
girls are like that - AlexL
since she treat you like shit then why bother? find another one lor - AlexL
nvm.don't need hurry.wait till you find a girl you really like then CHEONG!!! - Idz(yest) ===> my fav. haha.at least not like some funny ppl who tell me..nvm break d ar.go find another 1 tomorrow.SERIOUSLY..lol
Still thinking bout ur ex?Dun be so sad over that girl,I know you really like her but...plenty of other girls around - Idz(yest)===> this 1 im like SO stunned tio..i asking why he wanna find job and suddenly he msg me stuff like this..
so cute sia they all...so happy to know them all.At least they give constructive comments on how i've changed in character.Comment on my dressing or hairstyle...like how i should cut it...what colours suit me and stuff..
2:22 honest...im off to bed..cya in like 1-2wks time blog..
posted at [1:26 AM]
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Thursday, January 11, 2007
After much persuasion,ive finally decided to update this old dying blog.
Things are really looking bleak lately.and its not even about my love life or anything.
some things i'd rather not explain..might've something to do with the rain or something.
1st things 1st.I'd like to say sorry if i seem to be a changed person the new few days/wks/months/years?
being nice got me nowhere.Close friends..with all this..you'd know that im gonna be reverting to my darker self temporarily.
i used to say..I won't be the one who lets go of you first.
Im still not..but im letting go of myself...letting the darkness eat into me,strengthening me..changing me..temporarily.dw.I'd be the same after it all ends...sorry if ive let any of you down..
posted at [12:08 AM]
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Thursday, January 04, 2007
xXUnwrittenLettersXx
hey.listed below are some stuff ive written the past yr..sums out abt 50% of last yr.
things i've written in response to dumb comments and the labeling that i've received.
As.I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish.I wish he'd go away..
adapted somewhere on the net....by a girl on VF
fcuking helpless,so it doesn't mean that if u put in more effort
ud get a happier ending. SCREWED!!!
a note i placed on my msn...when i was going through depression
thanks for condemning me...
im not a conformist.I do what i want.
I can be brutally honest.I try my best not to hide.People are free to have their own opinions.Its a free world.No one said that it was fair.im fine with that.
SERIOUSLY.i don't need anyone telling his/her friends how good/bad i am.I don't need publicity.Just leave me alone.
i hate backstabbers,trash-talkers and people like that.like disappearing friends.
i love my music(but i can live without it),friends and family,sleeping and stuff.
People tend to judge from the surface.Truth is lots of stuff are hidden deep beneath the exterior.
having a fringe doesn't make u emo or cool or anything.maybe perhaps block your view.
Life's just another game.
.:Just another passing shadow
the opposites collide,make my heart attack
my inner thoughts...after countless labeling and non-constructive critiscism i received..and things that happened afterwards...
you cried, so im engaged to smile =(
created..when i looked back on how i tried so hard to smile and laugh at the same time..notice the =( behind.Its PURE sarcasm.
.::.Forever I Will Love You.::.
.::.Even After I've Faded Into Nothing But A Memory.::.
adapted from somewhere i read...internet?most likely...
*-...the hearts and the wrists you allegedly slit...-*
adapted from VF
ok.haha.if u've read thus far.I *Salute* you.
initially i wanted to write my new yr resolutions..but ended up with nothing after days of thinking. =p
let me try to think of one now...brainstorming session on my own..
*DONE*
try to be happier,study harder(when my sch term starts)
do another bodysurf this yr?(infront of thousands)
kk.most imptly..try to be there for anyone who takes me to be his/her friend as in my resolutions similar to all my previous years..haha.
*PHEW!!!!*
posted at [3:09 PM]
hmm.kinda sick lately.fevers and the stupid headaches.Unlucky?.the year just started...
not in the mood to hang today.
What happened to my friends?
Grads,bros and sis-s?
Apparently,Jin Hui has skipped more than 1wk of Poly lessons.All I could,today..was to like get him into the mood to study with stuff abt futures & the likes.
The only thing I heard was....'I've changed,im no longer me'.He even told me that he hates studying and poly life.
haiz...left wondering, how a nice,studious and fun friend turned out to become like this.
wonder how i'll cope.
It's not about
fame,fortune and stuff like that.
Its more about survival,determination
To not f***in believe in fate.
If I did,I wouldn't be here today.
If I accepted Fate,I wouldn't have anything leftover..
Defying all odds to live at all.....
f***ers,anyone and even the one above can try to ruin my life
I just won't give in.I play by my own rules.
If I ever wanted to give in to whats in stored.
I'd Just kill myself.There and Then.Simple.
Life's slightly over-rated and Death's not really that scary..
posted at [2:52 PM]
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007
bad start to the new year.
1st day - friend got problems at Hougang Green
2nd day - received news that another friend(Prabu) is in the hospital cos of Parkour
3rd day - went to like,take my pay...from the motorcycle shop..midway..got 2 asses..find fault with everyone...ask whether we play..dn off course nvr lar...but if they touch me...sure i chui them
hope everything goes well.bless you all.this yr will be better than the last...hopefully.
this yr.my resolution...study harder after entering poly...make poly life beautiful.
posted at [9:26 PM]
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
haiz..who is smiling face (: ?
why anyhow tag me?
so many questions left unanswered.
too many things happened recently.Feeling weak,haggard,lost and confused.
sick or sane?
heard that my friend's in hospital for parkour...gtg now....when free then update again....byebye blog and readers...takecare
posted at [3:48 PM]
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